Light Relief

Really I need a break from post-modern irony and ranting about Labour.

Whilst doing a poo, I got to thinking about my favourite Comedy Sketches. I thought about "The Spanish Inquisition" and "The Four Yorkshiremen" instantly, but top of the list, from me head, came "All the right notes" So, on a day when I really am fed up with Westminster I give you, for your pleasure - tighten your jocularity straps and get out a water tight cork -

Hey, Clarkson, stop nicking Weasel's material

"Trying to talk sensibly when all around have lost their heads, and their ability to sit on a chair, is like trying to do applied maths while being keelhauled. I’ve often wondered how my teetotal friends have managed to stay on the wagon when they are surrounded by booze and boozers." Says well known motoring bloke Jeremy Clarkson.

Funny that. Less than two weeks ago, I blogged:

Last night I had the somewhat infrequent experience of being "The Driver" - the one who sits there nursing a shandy all evening while all around are losing their heads. Fuck me, it's like being in a parallel universe.

Just remember, you heard it here first.

Tom Harris has lost my support

What one gets with Tom Harris is a sense that he is human, funny and conscientious. He is also fiercely loyal to his friends.

And yet, today, as he voted to support the Government of the Gurkha issue, he lost the last shred of support I am prepared to give, even though I would not vote Labour in a million years.

At least he has the guts to make an attempt at justifying his position. Sadly, many did not think it washed. Here is my reply to his post .

Well, Tom, well over thirty comments and not one supports your position. You have failed to sense the mood of the nation. This is no decision where you needed to wring your hands and dig deep into your soul. The course of action was staring you in the face. Indeed, some of your colleagues saw this and voted accordingly. We are not talking about the usual suspects; Keith Vaz,Stephen Pound and Andrew Smith were among the rebels. Some abstained. On the Daily Politics, emails went 100% in favour of the Gurkhas. This has never happened in the history of the show, bearing in mind the BBC did all they could to play lap dog to Gordon Brown.

I don’t give a stuff about Joanna Lumley. She is an old luvvie. What I give a stuff about is human dignity, and so, apparently does the rest of the country.

It’s not that you misjudged the mood of the nation, which you did, nor that you subsequently put up such a weak and disingenuous defense, which you also did. The most heinous crime is that you admitted that your reason for voting as you did, was not the Gurkhas, not an issue of pride or conscience, but to prop up a corrupt and dying administration whose sole purpose is to cling to power at all costs.

I am sorry to say this, but you deserve to lose your seat at the next election.

ADDENDUM:

Revolts Uk have some great analysis on today's vote:

(hat tip to Iain Dale)

All except Joan Humble and Stephen Pound had already rebelled against Brown, but they now bring to 119 the number of Labour MPs to vote against the whip since Gordon Brown became PM. And it's interesting that both Ian Cawsey and Shona McIssac, who both rebelled recently over ports for the very first time, did so again today. Other non-usual suspects included Nick Raynsford and Andrew Smith (who rebelled over Heathrow, casting their first rebellion against Brown), and Nick Palmer and Gordon Marsden, who have both only defied Brown once before.

Once they do it for the first time, it's easier to do it again -- as today proved.

Why I am joining the Taliban

Yes, I am going off to join the Taliban. For a start, they have made it safe to travel in Afghanistan, well, at least until we started jerking them about. They have curbed the fairly traded opium business. You get education, roads, respect for men, etc, etc.
The Taliban has a stated agenda and they are sticking to it. No running around at the last minute, calling in favours - they have a simple solution in dealing with detractors. No making promises they never keep. How do you solve a problem like Sharia?
Embrace it with open arms, that's what. Democracy has been so oversold, John Lewis wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.

So I have decided to re-locate to Kabul. I shall just have to put up with the nutters and fanatics, but not for long. Sooner or later, the Yanks will piss off and leave them alone.

PMQs

The Prime Minister loves to appear as if he is in control. The Flu issue is a case in point. Precise and complex plans are in place, and have been for some time, to deal with a flu pandemic. None of what he said adds to this. The NHS is highly in control of contingency planning and this sort of medical issue does not take them by surprise. Dr Weasel's inbox went ballistic within minutes of the news, and everyone in the loop has had meetings, conferences and planning meetings. It's very impressive, actually, but I cannot reveal more...!

Clegg: "The Prime Minister's answers on the Gurkha are deeply evasive". Of course they are deeply evasive. It's what is does and what he is.

The Gurkha issue is a shame on our nation. We should grant all who serve our country right of abode and citizenship.


Clegg: a "Government that has no principles and no courage"

Clegg nailed a grade A shit to the Wanker Wall.

This is what we need and we need it now

Springtime for Alex and Nicola

Britannia was struggling oh what a sad sad story

Needed a new leader to restore her former glory

Oh where oh where was he? Oh where can that man be? We looked around, and then we found, the team for you and me

And now it’s… Spring time for Alex and Nicola

Autumn for Goldie and Gray

Brown’s falling at a faster pace

Look out, here comes the master race!

Springtime, for Alex and Nicola
Independence is the dance today

Saltires are flying high again
Mars Bars are going to fry again

Springtime for Alex and Nicola
Tories are feeling so blue
Annabel’s on the change again
DC is looking strange again.

Springtime for Alex and Nicola
Freedom is on the advance
Springtime for Alex and Nicola….

Come on, Scotsman go into your dance…

bum bum bum bum, bum bum bum bum…

I was born in Auchterarder, that is why I try much harder

Don’t go in for hanky panky vote for Al and Jimmy Krankie!

© Wrinkled Weasel 2009

Dan Hannan's speech to the Tories

Watch Daniel Hannan Speech in News | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

This is Dan Hannan's recent speech to Conservative Party Spring Forum about Europe, courtesy of Tory Bear. (Apologies for the adverts and the poor quality.)

He is a remarkable speaker, though - a sneaky thought - he reminded me of someone's speech patterns; Hitler's actually!

Hannan should be leader of the Conservative Party. At least then, you could vote for an identifiable agenda, one that meant a radical departure from Blair Lite, which is what the Tories are peddling at the moment.

I worry when this happens Number 5945923058

The "Canoe Man's wife" and Bernie Ecclestone

US Envoy visits Guido Torture Site

No, Damien McBride has not yet wreaked revenge on Paul Staines, aka Guido Fawkes:

LONDON (AP) -- U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, weighing whether to prosecute Bush administration officials for harsh interrogations of terror suspects, got a history lesson in torture techniques on his first stop on a European tour.

Holder arrived Sunday in London, the first of three European cities he will visit seeking allies' help to close Guantanamo Bay, fight terrorism, and catch cyber-criminals.

The attorney general and his staff took a tour of the Tower of London, home of The Bloody Tower, and also the site where Guy Fawkes was put on the rack in 1605 to name those plotting with him to blow up Parliament.

The tower visit is standard fare for tourists, but one loaded with extra meaning for Holder, who listened quietly to tales of torture, execution, and palace intrigue.

So, is torture permissable under certain circumstances? Do we risk being "lynched by our own liberties" if we allow the worst atrocities to take place by rigorously applying our human rights laws?

I dug out a piece by Clive Stafford Smith on the modern dilemma. He posits the following scenario:

The bomb is ticking somewhere in central London. The evacuation cannot be completed in time, and hundreds or thousands may die. Scotland Yard has a man in custody. His name is Yusuf. His interrogators think he knows where the bomb is and how to defuse it, but they have read him his rights and he’s not talking. He wants his lawyer.

“Surely it’s time to ask the prime minister for permission to use a little torture to save a lot of lives”, someone exclaims.

Well, what would you do?

Guido Fawkes was a fanatic. He was quite happy to have blown himself up if circumstances prevailed in 1605. We face a modern day enemy who would do likewise.

I am not advocating the torture of prisoners for what you might call speculative purposes. In other words, Guantanamo was right out. But we are in a grey area. But if the danger was real and present, as in the example above, would anybody be concerned about reading the subject his rights?

Jethro Tull - a small review

I have been a Jethro Tull fan since a classmate brought in a copy of Stand Up to play on the school Dansette, one afternoon in 1969. These people, where did they come from? They looked like tatterdemalions and jesters and played incredible blues and progressive rock, tinged with folk. Tull went through many phases and is still recognisably Jethro Tull due to the continued dominance of frontman Ian Anderson. All the other original members, Clive Bunker, Glenn Cornick and Mick Abrahams have long gone. For a greater part of Tull's forty year history, Martin Barre has been a reassuring presence, though even Barre no longer tours full-time with the band. Tull never followed trends but nevertheless had several top five albums and platinum sales. To me, their appeal has been something quintessentially English, both lyrically and musically. A case in point is their mid Seventies offering, "Songs from the Wood". For this, Anderson immersed himself in English folklore, but preferred to call the songs "folky window-dressing in a prog rock shop front".

Out of the "Songs from the Wood" sessions came a track called Beltane, not on the album but included in the remaster. And since we are entering this period, of Jacks in the Greens and Green Men and fertility, what better than to include this track as a tribute to Jethro Tull.

Glenn Cornick spent a few days at Weasel Hall a while back, with his family, on holiday from their home in California. It was a real treat for a star struck Weasel

The Hump

This is a clip from the halls of Eclectech, one of those sites you come to at the end of the internet. I love this. I love the animation and the song, which is by the now slightly defunct (now with a tribute band), Mr and Mrs Swing.

Reviews: Reggie Perrin, HIGNFY, Later w/JH

If they told you that Monty Python was going to be re-made, with a new cast, you would be ready to hate it. Well, this is the baggage I brought to the first episode of Reggie Perrin, the remade/remodel starring Martin Clunes. I wanted to kill him. The original Rossiter Reggie Perrin summed up the comic tedium of a life trapped on the morning train that your baby takes to Matthew and Son. And yet, the Clunes version made me lol (as they say in interweb land) and forget what went before. What an incredibly strong cast, with the sort of material that has been worked hard on but appears effortless, dressed in a knowingly clunky semi-detached suburban retro world where it is forever Groundhog day. The premise was clever and worldly wise the first time and the remake pays full tribute to it and brings it right up to date. I wanted to hate it, but I loved it. I didn't get where I am to day by not loving things.

Why is it that HIGNFY only does about 10 episodes a year? I don't know, but the first one of the this year looked tired and out of ideas. Even Paul Merton looked distracted. Don't forget, this is an edit-down from 2 hours of material, and boy did the editor struggle. It's like an old relative who you listen to because you respect them, but the endearing factors have long faded and they go through the motions. Poor.

Later with Jools Holland is the only show on TV that properly showcases new musical talent. Madness headlined and showed that they only improve with age. They are truly artistic. Not only that, the one that just used to jig about has learned to play the guitar.

Bat for Lashes is a band with a front girl. She references Nico, Bjork and Kate Bush and the presentation is very theatrical, but somehow, the songs did not do much for me. A lot of style, but how much substance? And the hussy was there with bare arms which would not have pleased...

the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens, who was the biggest disappointment, with a song that went something like, "I am sad, because it's bad". He also seemed like an arrogant tosspot. Actually, he seemed like a miserable, arrogant tosspot. Just think, when the Caliphate comes, we will all sing along because it is all they will allow. They played a 70's clip of "Father and Son" which just went to emphasise how far the Catmeister has fallen.

Stunning surprise for me was William Elliot Whitmore, who did what was obviously a protest song, in the tradition of Guthrie and Dylan, but was in no way derivative. His vitality and commitment and sheer energy shone through and he was shitloads better than Yussuf (aka Cat). Liked the tats.

Do you take issue? Come on, if you think yer 'ard enough!

PS. The Weasel has slid down the rich list again. Guess I'll be reduced to doing Vegas.

Weasel's weekend ramble

Disenfranchised is my word of the week. I feel that nothing I do or say will change anything.

The Budget went over my head. Figures are meaningless to me. What I wanted to hear was news of spending cuts and austerity measures. What I think I got was more borrowing and more spending.

I suppose Iain Dale was disappointed he did not win the Orwell Prize, but to be frank, I was surprised he was included because his blog rather defies the arbitrary whims of a few worthies. Iain Dale's Diary is a blogging institution, in the same way that Guido is, and neither of them need a tin-pot prize.

The Mercedes Gull Wing is being launched as a concept car that may go into production. I mention this because the first one is exactly the same age as me. It was the fastest road car of its time. This follows in a recent trend of re-vamping classics, such as the mini and the beetle. However, I shall wait for the new model Citroen DS to come out. Both Mrs Weasel and I would love one.

There has been some criticism of the Government in their handling of Gurkha veterans. It seems they are going to make it difficult for them to remain here. If the French Foreign Legion can offer automatic citizenship to any soldier who completes three year's service "with honour", why can't we do likewise?

Gordon Brown's You Tube appearance may well be the final nail in his coffin. They say a politician can withstand anything but public ridicule. Watching the smiling, gurning, grinning fool trying to convince us he is sincere was truly pathetic.

One of my most interesting reads this week was a piece by Charles Crawford, the former diplomat, Ambassador to Belgrade and Warsaw among other things, whose piece about what he calls Amazon Space and Non Amazon Space really appealed to me. It takes paradigms of sociopolitical organisation to another level. Not only that, it makes sense.

Best news of the week for me personally was that the clunking noise on the roller-skate ( nasty Peugeot 106) was a 50p noise and not a £50 noise, and my garage, forever patient and honest, did the necessary and waved me away.

Worst news was that one of the young weasels was not making the progress they had hoped.

After next week, many things will change for Weasels.

PS UPDATE: Actually I have just seen the new model Citroen DS. It's terrible! In that case we will treat ourselves to a concourse condition old one when I start paying 50p in the pound income tax.

And this year's TUB of LARD award goes to the BBC

John Redwood has been bemoaning the rudeness of our beloved national broadcaster:

Last week the BBC asked me to give a pre budget interview on the Daily Politics on Tuesday of this week. I accepted and reorganised my Tuesday morning to fit it in. They rang to cancel mid morning on the Tuesday.
Yesterday the BBC asked me to step in as they had need of me to comment immediately after the budget on the World At One. I said I would and started to make the necessary adjustments to my plans. They cancelled the appointment later that morning.
Clearly they do not want hard htitting analysis from someone who has been a long term forecaster of recession and a debt crisis. Is it because the government doesn’t approve?

THIS WAS MY REPLY POST

Funny old John; imagining that the 23 year-old embryo who organised your spot gives a toss about your plans or has any concept of what you mean by the word “rude”. I suspect they line up more guests than they need as cover, and it appears you have been relegated to first reserve. It’s what they do.

Your strangely old-fashioned idea that people who appear on the BBC’s political programmes should have something to say is testimony to your ivory-tower academic background. BBC political programming has gone from heuristic values (a drawn sword parting the darkness of ignorance) and synthesis (nation shall speak unto nation) , to “gis a quote - and can you make it 15 seconds long so we can segway into the competition?”

You are asking for Caesar Salad at the Burger Bar but the Saturday girl didn’t hear you because she is texting with one thumb and jogging her I-pod with the other.

Anachronism isn’t a slang word in Ohio.

Hillsborough - a good day to exhume bad news?

The victims of the Hillsborough disaster and their families are being used as a political football. The opening of these files raises the possibility of raising the spectre of Mrs Thatcher, still to some an object of hatred and fear. But first the back story:

In 1989, 96 fans were crushed to death at Hillsborough stadium in Sheffield during the FA Cup semi-final between Nottingham Forest and Liverpool.

The crush is said to have resulted from too many Liverpool fans being allowed in to the back of an already full stand at the Leppings Lane end of the ground.

And now, according to a report in the Guardian,

The Home Office said the documents could be released 10 years earlier than would normally be permitted after a request by the home secretary, Jacqui Smith. It is understood that Smith has spoken to Meredydd Hughes, the chief constable of South Yorkshire, to discuss waiving the 30-year rule.

Smith said: "The government is committed to helping those who lost loved ones in the Hillsborough tragedy. That is why I will be working with the Ministry of Justice, the Department for Culture, Media and Sport and the attorney general's office to put out any information that exists that could shed light on the disaster ... as soon as possible."

The Guardian revealed last week that two ministers, Andy Burnham and Maria Eagle, the junior justice minister, would ask for full disclosure of all public bodies' documentation relating to Hillsborough.

The Southport Visitor reports:

The documents could finally reveal once and for all who was at fault for the death of the 96 Liverpool fans who died.

Mrs Steele, from Truro Avenue, Marshside, told the Visiter: “I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t know what the files will reveal, but somewhere, something is going to come out and I think Margaret Thatcher’s minutes are the key.”

The practice of keeping state documents secret is an established practice. I will not go into the arguments here, for and against, but I find it interesting that the Government is making an exception in this case.

Could it be that these documents will be revealed at a convenient moment for Labour? Will they raise the spectre of Mrs Thatcher, who is still regarded by many as someone you can frighten children with?

Although I understand the personal tragedy, what is it about this case that has attracted the attention of Government Ministers? Is it a noble desire to give closure to grieving relatives, or something more cynical and mendacious.

Could it be, that in releasing these documents, political capital will be made and once more Mrs Thatcher will become a timely reminder, to some, of why they should not vote Conservative at the next election?

Let us not forget, this game works both ways. If Labour are intent upon opening cans of worms, the next, Tory Administration can do likewise, and believe me, there are a lot more cans, a lot more worms, a lot more skeletons and a lot more closets.

Star Trek Transportation - a strange revelation

Arthur C. Clarke said, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

I contend that, had you explained to Medieval man, the technology behind the invention and manufacture of Prawn Cocktail flavoured Crisps, he would have had you burned as a witch.

And so we get on to a story that seems to have been hitherto buried, concerning Star Trek Transportation/Teleporting.

RTMM, (or Vector Space Orientation) as it suggests requires the transportee to have their entire being mapped at molecular level, whereby it is disassembled, sent to its destination and re-constituted, bit by bit, in an instant.

Not many people know this, but the technology was developed from 23rd Century experiments in Cosmetic Surgery, in which the client was disassembled, appeared briefly in a sunny climate in order to get a nice tan, and then sent back, only to be re-constituted with, for example a straighter nose or the odd few inches from the waist. It was only after elderly ladies from Palm Beach realised they could come back looking 20 years younger, that Transportation, as we know it, became a viable tool for Space Exploration.

As we know, the boundaries of science are sometimes pushed forward by the most trivial of human pursuits.

Flicking the Mirrors

What else do you expect on Budget Day? I expect

• Fake "Green" taxes. (Air Passenger Tax - It was hinted initially that the revenue would go to Green Projects. Instead it went straight into the Exchequer)
• Increase in VAT. Not really a surprise.
• Increase in Booze and Fags. Such an easy soft target, hardly anyone complains.
• Increase in Fuel Duty.

These are the obvious ones. But Watch Out! There's a Thief About! Labour Budgets are stealth tax budgets. The real cost to working, private sector people will be the stuff nightmares are made of and will only become obvious later. Council Tax has doubled under Labour. NI contributions will certainly rise. The only people who will benefit are Labour voters who depend on public sector non-jobs and the unemployed.


This Government feels it has a right to cripple the working classes with debt and colossal public spending.

Above all, today's budget will be a drab affair from a moribund Government that only knows how to spend.

Caligula on Coke

Watch this, with the sound off, and play the musical accompaniment.







music courtesy of Megadeth

Biased BBC shits on your head

Top of the BBC Ten O'Clock News tonight: The man in a dinner jacket, the Iranian President, delivers a speech to the United Nations in which he calls Israel a racist state, causing several delegates, including many European, American and British to walk out of the chamber.

Trouble is, this was reported on by none other than Jeremy Bowen who has been condemned recently for a serious breach in partiality. Bowen is anti-Israel, like a raft of BBC Middle East Correspondents, but unlike the others has been officially censured by The BBC Trust Editorial Standards Committee.

This is the sickest of the sickest jokes, a deliberate two-fingered salute to the people who pay Bowen's wages, extracted by force, on pain of imprisonment.

Whoever was editor on the Ten o'Clock News clearly knew what he or she was doing. Accordingly they have behaved disgracefully.

Fresh from official condemnation of Bowen, the BBC rewarded him with top of the news and possibly the most sensitive story to come out of the region in months.

I am truly horrified. I don't know what else to say.

Hey it feels like summer!

Mimi and Richard Farina..here they come!

Kinky Sex - blog stats soar!

The problem with doing these stories is the number of unwelcome visitors you get on the blog. Never mind, wanking is off here.

It seems the Mirror has been fed some salacious stuff about top Tories rutting around on all fours at cocaine-fueled spanking sessions. Oh dear, isn't politics a messy business. And to think we all expressed national outrage when Neil Hamilton was caught getting brown envelopes in the cash for questions scandal.

I have already done a piece on this HERE and my take is WTF? It's a private life and it should be private. These people are doing their thing - not trying to lie or cheat or destroy the country.

It is all getting very nasty.

Tom Harris nails it

Tom Harris says (of Erithgate)

Now, it seems, that some loathesome, anti-democratic criminal has tried to pervert the course of democracy. Presumably this cretin believes he or she knows so much better than the members of Erith and Thamesmead how they should have voted.

Dear Tom, here is a picture clue:

Rule Somalis, Somalis Rule the Waves..

Thomas Arne eat your heart out, for, That Was The Week That Was. Time Was when talking like a pirate - http://www.talklikeapirate.com/ - was a bit of a laugh. All you needed to say was "Ooh Aaagh, Jim Lad" and you were in. But not anymore. Charles Crawford has some enlightened commentary on the modern day version. My ancestors, Spencer Weasel and John Weasel, fought at the battle of Trafalgar. In those days, you gave it to them and made sure they had it. So what has changed? Why can't we just send a gun boat or a couple of "cargo ship" decoys with marines on them, and as soon as the pirates attack, blow them out of the water? Apparently it is not as easy as that because the legal position is unclear. What is unclear? This is what a "spokesman" for the Pirates said to a Somali press source:

The spokesman of a group of Somali pirates who are now keeping a Yemeni owned vessel threatened that they would kill the entire of the crew on board and burn the vessel to ashes.

The spokesman who has shortened his name as Mohammed speaking to one of the independent local radio stations said that the entire of crew on board are infidels.

Mr. was also asked if at all there is relationship between the group of pirates which he is the spokesman and the other Somali pirates in the other regions in Somalia, and Mohammed proudly answered that there is great relationship between his group and the other Somali pirates, and added that their common interest is to fight against the foreign vessels which are scooping the resources in the Somali waters.

Who do they have for their Director of Communications, Charlie Whelan?

Tom Harris continues to defend the indefensible. I wish he would start being part of the solution and not part of the problem.

This has been the week of the Ingenu and the Dilletante.

We seem to be in a world where the boundaries are changing and where the traditional arbiters of what the hoi-polloi consume are being sidelined.

Six months ago, I felt I was just a ranter in the Wilderness. Now Simon Heffer, Matthew Parris and many others are now sounding like I was sounding then. Glad to know the penny has finally dropped with them.

Last night I had the somewhat infrequent experience of being "The Driver" - the one who sits there nursing a shandy all evening while all around are losing their heads. Fuck me, it's like being in a parallel universe. This morning, I still felt like shit, so in retrospect, I might conquer the stinge factor and get a taxi.

Have a nice weekend readers.

Susan Boyle - Cry Me a River

Thanks to Subrosa, who left this comment (moved to here)

Subrosa writes:

Have a wee listen to this. Just came across it. OK I know it's from the Daily Record :) Sorry my other video is a short version.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/2009/04/16/exclusive-susan-boyle-s-first-ever-song-release-revealed-listen-to-it-here-86908-21283564/

Thanks a lot. (Cry Me a River is one of my favourites - all time favourites, written for Julie London, whose voice is like melted chocolate on purple velvet.)

This goes to show that Susan Boyle is going to be a fantastic singing star. There has been talk of some sort of "makeover" for Susan. Makeover? She does not need a makeover. The people who need a makeover are those who think beauty is just skin deep.

Tom Watson puts his head above the parapet

Tom Watson has reappeared on his blog.

He writes:

On reflection, this week wasn’t the most relaxing of family breaks to Cornwall. And for those that revel in these things, I can say with some certainty, that at times, it was the most miserable I have ever been.

This was my reply, left on his blog. I will give £10 to my favourite charity if it gets published.

You deserve to be miserable. You are at the heart of a Nixonian administration and your keystrokes are all over it. Getting legal is only going to delay the inevitable. The MSM may fall over and beg, because they are venal and pusilanimous, but hey, they have lost control of the agenda so it doesn’t matter.

Everybody knows how the Brown Government works against its enemies, up to and including getting them arrested on trumped up charges. You are now, either part of the problem or part of the solution. If your conscience is that tortured, perhaps you should respond to it.

UPDATE1:
It is now more than 36 hours since Watson dared to write on his blog, after disappearing during the recent fiasco. He has yet to publish any comments. I dare say quite a few will have been left there, so, what is stopping him?

I am taking a break - from Brown

I am going to leave this story for a while. Sod's law that something big will happen if I do, but to be honest, the whole thing has worn me out. It is too depressing. In the meantime, this picture will stay on my blog until the day Brown leaves office.

What goes around comes around

Damian Green has been vindicated. Now it is time to remember again who Gordon Brown is and how he grabbed the reins of power. One of the things he did was to rely on moles in the Government.





Time for the Snot Gobbler to realise the game is up.

Brown says "Sorry" - a rearguard action

Here is a little story about my personal life. Bear with me.

When the young Weasels were young, Wynona Weasel and Wycliffe Weasel were occasionally naughty. "Go up to your room, Wynona/Wycliffe, and do not come down until you are SORRY!" said I.

Wynona, a girl with spunk and principles, would take hours to come down the stairs, and then it was one by one and then you had to meet her half way up the stairs. If Wynona did not feel sorry, she was darn well not going to say it, just to get an easy ride.

Wycliffe Weasel, on the other hand, quickly worked out that in order to return things to an even keel, and in order to carry on with his affairs, discovered that saying "sorry" was the passport to immunity. Weasel the boy regarded pragmatism to be the best choice. (Today Wycliffe Weasel has no less a strength of character or moral values than Wynona, but he sees things differently.)

Brown will say what needs to be said, not because he means it in any moral way, but because is "prudent to do so" at this stage of the game.

It is, in Gordon Brown's failing arsenal, a rearguard action in the war of words.

Damian Green - Civil Servants Sexed up Dossier

Now, I wonder where we have heard that before?

Damian Green, the front bench opposition MP, was arrested and detained for nine hours at the behest of New Labour, who it now transpires, connived with Civil Servants to send a dossier of exaggerated claims to the police about Green's involvement in leaks.

The Telegraph reports:

A report by the Home Affairs Committee said that civil servants exaggerated the damage and threat to national security caused by the leaks as they urged police to launch an investigation.

Mandarins were accused of using "hyperbolic" language in a letter to Scotland Yard which claimed "considerable" damage had already occurred because of some of the leaks.

Where will this rotten shit end? The Home Affairs Committee report is couched in as strong a language as is acceptable in such things

"We think it was unhelpful to give the police the impression the Home Office leaker(s) had already caused considerable damage to national security."

Concludes the report. More Ratfucking. More lies. More Spin, and it is now woven into the fabric of the higher echelons of the Civil Service, who have a legal mandate to remain neutral. In an unprecedented action, Parliament was raided by the police, Green's office was ransacked - all with the collusion and approval of the Speaker, Michael Martin. This whole episode stank from start to finish and now we know the truth - that it was an act of political terrorism.

The next move in the House of Cards

The House of Cards was a brilliant TV adaptation, by Andrew Davis of a book by Michael Dobbs, who was a Conservative Government Special Advisor and Chief of Staff during the Thatcher/Major years.

The programme created the legendary political villain, Francis Urquhart, whose immortal words "You might very well think that; I couldn't possibly comment" became a synonymous with spindoctor trickery and malign unattributable briefings.

Here is just a small sample of Urquhart at his best (worst?..you might think that...)




And herein lies a problem; in real life villains are not signposted, nor do they have a camera pointing at them when the wicked stuff is done. The only bit we see is the public persona, groomed and mostly controlled. This is so often the only aspect we see of politicians and their bag men that they carry about them an air of credibility that is for the most part unjustified and false.

What you see in the Urquhart clip is a dramatisation of the side we rarely see, but nevertheless clearly exists. Maximilien Robespierre or Joseph Goebbels were proto spin doctors, people who knew the value of media manipulation, but who were also wedded to an evil cause. Both saw their roles as justifiable, to serve an end.

In the last century we had Watergate. A minor, but significant player in the drama was Donald Segretti. Segretti organised a dirty tricks campaign against the Democrats during the campaign to re-elect President Richard Nixon. According the Washington Post:

In 1974, he served 4 1/2 months in prison after pleading guilty to three misdemeanor counts of distributing illegal campaign literature, including a letter falsely claiming that former senator Henry M. "Scoop" Jackson had fathered an illegitimate child with a 17-year-old girl.

This was only a sample of the material Segretti was circulating in a style of political sabotage that came to be known as Ratfucking. Segretti, by the way, was still active in politics as recently as 2000, when he served as co chair of John McCain's campaign in California. A protege of his, Karl Rove was tutored in the ways of the ratfucker and was later recorded advising others on the dark arts. Of course, this is the same Karl Rove who was so strong in the Bush administration and whose continued pursuit of his malign vocation is well documented, including the Plame affair. Rove resigned his powerful position in the Bush Administration amid a raft of investigations and accusations.

So far, I have tried to show that their is an archetype, a model for the kind of person who gains a significant position of power, usually around a president or a prime minister. These people rarely want the top job. What they seem to want is to subjugate and destroy. Not even their starting premise is noble, rather it is the exercise of tyranny for the sake of winning. There is no longer, in their minds, an issue of the right course of action, it is the winning course of action.

And now we come to Smeargate.

Who is left? Who fits the archetype? Who around Prime Minister Gordon Brown is at the heart of number ten, still spinning, still doing all he can to wriggle and weave?

The answer is, now after the small fry have been sacrificed, is one Tom Watson.

Watson has form: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/5149509/Tom-Watson-stops-twittering-amid-email-smear-row.html

He was sacked for plotting against Blair. It seems Watson has now done an Aitken/Archer and threatened legal action about anyone who mentions his name in connection with Smeargate.

Nadine Dorries, the Conservative MP who was the target of obscene smears writes:

5 Live called to say they were being leaned on by lawyers with regard to any reference to Tom Watson MP and before I went on, would I just be aware of that.

I asked them what they wanted me to do with that information and were they saying I couldn’t talk about Tom Watson? No said the researcher, we are just under a bit of pressure here, that’s all, just be careful.

Well, Tom, sorry, but you are a prime suspect and you won't sue because you would have to reveal the contents of your email inbox.

In the end, what did for Nixon was some damning audio tape. Somewhere, despite the shredding and the emptying of inboxes, a trail leads to the desk of Tom Watson.

Watson is just about the last brick in the wall protecting Gordon Brown, so once Watson goes Brown will be toast. Watson knows this, and Brown knows this. The stakes are high. This is about who runs our country and how they run it, and the whole house of cards, in my view, depends upon the next high profile resignation.

UPDATE1:
Hat tip to Lancastrian Oik

Draper has removed his desktop computer from his home. If you have to ask why this is significant, you have been in a coma for the last 50 years.

UPDATE2:
You wont hear Watson's name much today or tomorrow- not because he is not important in the Smeargate affair, but because, like powerful bully boys of yore, he has threatened to get legal with anybody who mentions his name and like dopes the MSM has fallen over and complied.

For the Cynics among you. I dare you not to get tearful

I don't have a TV, but this popped up over the radar. Embedding has been disabled on the clip, so you will just have to take a risk. (UPDATE: Hat tip to Subrosa - I have now find a friendly site that allows me to embed it)

Susan Boyle Sings on Britain's Got Talent 2009 Episode 1 @ Yahoo! Video

Fantastic. Just utterly fantastic.

Phil Spector: "Your Prime Minister is as sane as I am"

Gordon Brown, famous for inventing the Wall of Spin, and considered to be one of finest weirdos in the business, has been declared sane by a leading pop mogul.

At a recent trial, where the defendent was seen smirking like a tit and doodling on a pad of paper throughout the prosecution's brilliant summing up, Brown appeared calm, collected and mad as a chocolate cheeseburger.

Brown, it was revealed, had entertained a faded starlet, Dolly Draper, for lunch, but things got out of hand, according to witnesses. "It was a Red Rag to Gordon", said an anonymous witness.

UPDATE for confused readers:
Sorry folks, I seem to have gotten two separate stories very muddled up.

When the word "Arsehole" may not quite cover it.

Charles Crawford has taken up some things I wrote in and exchange of emails (very enjoyable ones!) on the nature of blogging, with reference to its semiotic subtlety/stability.

If you are with me so far go here:

http://charlescrawford.biz/blog.php?single=900

WW

Brown: What did he know, and when did he know it?

God this is just like Watergate. The revelation that Draper had lunch - HAD LUNCH - with Gordon Brown at Chequers days after Red Rag was set up.

Please, I beg you. If anybody in this adiministration has evidence linking the Prime Minister with Drapergate, please, I beg you, come forward, for the sake of the country.

Gordon Brown tries to shut down the European Parliament.

Credit for this story goes in full to Craig Murray. It is just that I had not seen it, until Daniel Hannan mentioned it in passing and I wonder how many people have. It should certainly see a wider audience.

After Hannan's momentus vivisection of Gordon Brown at the European Parliament, Brown, who, if you remember the viral video, smirked like a schoolboy throughout and doodled on a notepad, was so angry that he immediately ordered his flunkies to make sure it does not happen again.

Murray writes:

staff in the UK Mission to the European Union (UKREP Brussels) were horrified to receive an instruction from the FCO to ensure that the situation when Gordon Brown was obliged to hear a speech against him in the European Parliament from MEP Daniel Hannan, could not happen again...

..my friends in our mission in Brussels consoled themselves that Prime Ministerial pique would die down, and with the G20 summit keeping Brown frenetically busy in London, the whole thing would be forgotten. But no! As they opened their offices at 8am Brussels time this morning, there was a missive from No 10, demanding to know what progress has been made.

Read the piece in full here: http://www.craigmurray.org.uk/archives/2009/04/gordon_browns_e.html

Brown and New Labour are doing everything in their power to squash criticism at home and abroad. This is a chilling example of just what Labour are prepared to do to hang on, including shutting down debate in the European Parliament.

Brown is already contemptuous of Parliament and when he does attend PMQs he does not answer questions. My reason for posting this is simple: Brown is already an unelected leader and has no greater mandate than the one given him by the people of Fife. In is disdain for public scrutiny he has a long history of simply not being there when it is inconvenient. Now that he has to be present, as Prime Minister, he has set about making sure that all means are used to neutralise dissent, whether it be from a dirty tricks department or brazen requests to change the processes and procedures of the European Parliament.

If you only read one Gordon Brown story today this one is it

http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/3532841/gordon-brown-has-lost-all-moral-authority.thtml

It is Peter Hoskin's take on the events of the past few days; one of the few writers who have used the word "moral".

He writes:

The public is getting its clearest glimpse yet into the workings of the Brown machine. And it's a grim sight.

Is Brown another Nixon or is he Dorian Gray?

Way back in February, I posted this:


I remember the last days of US President Richard Nixon. His face was wracked with agony and ravaged by his ignominious descent into moral decay. To me, he was Dorian Gray without the benefit of a painting in the attic.

Nixon, however, had some mitigating traits as a leader. His inaugural speech was monolithic.

During it he uttered these words:

We have found ourselves rich in goods, but ragged in spirit; reaching with magnificent precision for the moon, but falling into raucous discord on earth.
We are caught in war, wanting peace. We are torn by division, wanting unity. We see around us empty lives, wanting fulfillment. We see tasks that need doing, waiting for hands to do them.
To a crisis of the spirit, we need an answer of the spirit.
To find that answer, we need only look within ourselves.

Gordon Brown showed no such idealism in his first days. Indeed if he heeded these words things might have been different. But he started low and went lower. He is a haunted man, his visage scarred with unbeautiful obsessions. As Oscar Wilde wrote of the eponymous hero:

"The consciousness of being hunted, snared, tracked down, had begun to dominate him" (The Picture of Dorian Gray)


Here is a portrait of a man in decay, a moribund leader who is about to implode. Does it remind you of anyone?

Brothers in Arms - The Prime Minister and his Ratfucker

The Prime Minister and his Ratfucker.

Brown likes to be photographed with people who will raise his stock on the world's stage. How about this one? This is Brown, again, with his dirty tricks operative.

Of course the fucker knew all about it. Do you honestly believe he employs these people to send out "thank you" letters?

And as if you wondered whether life imitated art:(hat tip to Guido)

Every Picture Tells a Story

This is Damian McBride, pictured alongside Gordon Brown. This is no fluke. McBride was at the centre of the Number Ten spin operation, as are several others who hopefully meet the same fate.

Derek Draper has always maintained that he is not funded or controlled by the Labour party. The events of this weekend have revealed a rather different picture.

As Tom Harris says in his blog:

"This is about standards of political activity, standards which have fallen far, far below what is remotely acceptable, especially for someone working at the very heart of government. "

I repeat again. Brown is at the very heart of Government. Brown knew. Brown in all probability instigated it. To try and spin that this was some "bad apple" or that the clearly delineated plans to smear the Tories was an idea that was binned, is nonsense. McBride had already cocked up big time but was never removed from Number Ten Downing Street. Brown knows exactly what McBride and others are capable of, which is why he employed them.

In their disgrace, the BBC, who you would think could sink no lower, have printed McBride's lies in full, with little attempt at balance.

Update:

Derek Draper, Labour List blogger at the centre of the email scandal, and creator of the Red Rag blog that was created as a dirty tricks blog, is funded by Unite, which also supports the Labour Party. Unite is a massive union, presided over by fat cat leaders and a former Labour spin doctor, Charlie Whelan. As Alex Hilton, staunch Labour supporter and blogger (no friend of Tories) wrote:

It was launched at Labour HQ and Mr McBride's old colleague Charlie Whelan provided Mr Draper's funding from Unite's political fund, the trade union he now works for.

They then pursued the unsustainable charade that the project was independent of the Labour Party.

It now turns out that shortly after the creation of the Red Rag blog, Draper was entertained at Chequers for lunch with the Prime Minister. Brown is up to his eye in it.

Gordon Brown is a liar

Nixon lied. Brown lied.

He is 100% complicit in the dirty tricks campaign that was orchestrated by a close aide.

Sooner or later the proof will come out, but frankly, the mere fact that Brown surrounds himself with this kind of pond life should tell you all you need to know.

The Bible declares: By their fruits shall you know them.

The fruit of this adiministration is past its sell-by date and is rotten and stinking.

Guido Fawkes - a leaky conduit

I refer to the breaking story about a smear campaign at Number 10, and a series of scurrilous emails that have been intercepted by Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes.

I can't decide whether Paul Staines is a rank amateur when it comes to breaking stories or that he is merely the victim of cyber-space communication speeds.
His outings on the MSM appear to confirm the former, being a combination of his inability to invoke a snappy answer and the high degree of editorial control exercised by the broadcaster. He comes across as a patsy and a puffball.

Woodward and Bernstein he is not, but then again their fastest communications tool was a payphone and an Underwood electric typewriter.

The problem with this story is that he has lost control of it, something a news organisation would anticipate and be able to redress.

Instead of a carefully orchestrated drip-drip of facts, subsequently rebutted, then proven to be true by further revelations, he has shot his bolt in one and allowed the opposition to get ahead and determine a robust rebuttal strategy.

What makes Guido/Staines interesting is his occasional good luck with sources who use him as a conduit. There is nothing clever about this; he is just lucky and it requires no skill to appear like a grand wizard of the cult of the black virgin. His application of this power is dismally inept.

No shit, Sherlock..

Brian Paddick, the former senior policeman and erstwhile LibDem Mayoral Candidate has been putting his two pennorth into the Tomlinson debate:

"There is already ... concern among some people in the community that the police are not being held to account for their actions," Paddick told The Grauniad.

Bugger me, I didn't spot that.

FASTHOSTS - a warning

I should have done my homework. I should have known better. These days, whenever I embark upon a venture, I Google it thoroughly, particularly all the chatter surrounding the subject.

It was only after I got trouble with Fasthosts, the website platform providers, that I began to read all the horror stories.

Take a look at their site

http://www.fasthosts.co.uk/

Enticing isn't it? They describe themselves as "The UK's Number One Web Host"

The site if full of advice about how to set up an account and to be fair it is all useful stuff. Except for one teeny little piece of essential information, and that is how to cancel your account. Once you log in to your Fasthosts account you can do many things, but one thing you cannot do is cancel your account. There is even no instruction on how to do this except for something buried in the "Terms of Service" and is in 8pt type. All accounts with Fasthosts are subject to a minimum 12 month contract term. This is in the very very small print in the same small corner of their web site.

This is my story in a nutshell: In February 2008 I entered and agreement with Fasthosts to host a website. This was to last a year. I have had regular invoices from them since, but no confirmation that these were to stop, even though I instructed the cancellation of the site package some months ago. I also emailed them twice. This is not an easy thing to do. If you do not include the precise information in the precise order, it is simply bounced back. Finally I go an acknowledgement of my email, an automated one. I have sent them two reminders about this email and all have been ignored. Essentially, they have taking payment from my account despite my efforts to close it. And it seems I am not alone. I suggest you google "Fasthost Hell" or just Fasthosts.

So you say, just ring your bank and ask them to stop payment. Not as easy as that, apparently. My bank say that they cannot stop payment and that they have to take it up with Fasthosts once I have provided them with documentary evidence. Until then, Fasthosts will continue to steal money from my acount and there is nothing I can do.

UPDATE1
This is the point in the story where I have to put my hands up and say that it is possible that the fault is mine. It seems that my emails to them were replied to, but my spam filter took them out. I telephoned Fasthosts and spoke to (within two minutes) a very cooperative employee, who appears to have sorted the problem out. We tested the theory by his sending test emails, and lo and behold they did not appear in my main email account, though they did in my webmail.

It looks as if I won't get a refund, but at least they have agreed to close the account.

I have decided to leave this post up, as a matter of honesty, but also because I still believe Fasthosts should make it easier (e.g.online) for customers to cancel accounts when it is contractually possible to do so.

On the other hand, I got first class customer service from their operative, Mark, and he deserves five stars for doing more than he was obliged to do.

Guest Blogger - Mrs Weasel

I was outraged by this article:
Luton Airport Fleece Passengers
Now, my parents live within spitting distance (although of course St Albans folks NEVER spit) of Luton Airport, and so the Edinburgh-Luton run is one I do fairly regularly. Edinburgh airport is owned by BAA, who have recently been told by the monopolies people to give up several of their airports 'in the interests of the public'. Now, my experience is that Edinburgh have shorter check-in queues, lower parking charges, handier pick up/drop off points AND possibly the best baggage handlers in Western Europe - there have been occasions when I have arrived at the carousel around 30 seconds before my luggage. There have also been occasions when I have had to phone my parents from the Luton carousel and explain why the plane has arrived, but I apparently haven't, and all the time the meter on the parking charges is going up, up, up.
On the plus side, the shopping in Departures is much better at Luton, but since I generally have more time to enjoy it, that is only fitting.
Anyway - it raises the question; is it better to have a monopoly, or a decent critical mass - BAA have so much more to lose from any negative passenger experience at any of its airports?
(Oh and the worst airport I have experienced in the UK is Birmingham - there is so little to do in its departure lounges you end up chewing your toenails for entertainment, and it seems acceptable to announce a 30min delay to departure 5 mins before the scheduled departure time).

I am a mole and I live in a hole

Bloody Moles! I have been running around this week dealing with mole hills. Gits! They are everywhere and because of the EU I cannot poison them. Well bugger the EU I am going to get them one way or another. I'll fucking bury them alive and see how they deal with that!

A little gem

Here's something to take your mind of things:

A song by Johnny Fortune. It's called Dragster

He fell over, didn't he?

Just to make sure that everyone knows what's going down these days, here is a video of a riot policeman assaulting Ian Tomlinson, who later died during the G20 protests.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/apr/07/video-g20-police-assault


No wonder the Government wants to prevent people photographing the police.

This is just another episode in the shame of Gordon Brown and his police state.

I am outraged. I also know a bit more than your average punter about the way the police operate. Be in no doubt, the general "attitude" of the police on that day was ordained from a higher authority. Somebody told them to be a bit nasty to the public (Muslims excepted of course), and nasty was what they were.

What we shall get now is another whitewash, another set of noises off "regretting" it. You would expect it is another day of bad news for the Government, but hey, they are past masters at kicking this sort of thing into the long grass. No doubt there will be an "inquiry". No doubt a few low level apparatchiks will appear to condemn it, but the contraction of our civil liberties will continue and anybody who thinks our leaders are a bunch of corrupt, thieving bastards and wants to do something about it will somehow be deemed to be terrorists.

But do you know, you cannot subjugate a nation if that nation does not want to be subjugated? Hope lies with the proles. They can read every email, they can arrest you for saying "nonsense", they can stop you taking pictures of their atrocities, but if you believe in freedom you should fight back now. Our government is now in the hands of corrupt, lying criminals who want to remain in control of your lives. They deserve the full force of public opposition.

"The government will make use of these powers only insofar as they are essential for carrying out vitally necessary measures...The number of cases in which an internal necessity exists for having recourse to such a law is in itself a limited one." -

Hitler told the Reichstag.

Update1: I will take a bet with anybody that the "official" CCTV footage relevant to the Tomlinson death is unaccountably "not available" or "missing".


UPDATE2:

This, from Andy Hayman: (writing in The Times)

The video of Ian Tomlinson being struck to the ground for no apparent reason looks ugly. Were there other events that preceded this or was the push unprovoked? What is also not known is whether the cause of death was natural or triggered by this apparent assault. Whatever the cause, the commissioner must ask serious questions about the style of policing. If left unchecked we have a more violent crowd in uniform than the crowd demonstrating.

Andy Hayman is former Assistant Commissioner Special Operations at the Metropolitan Police

Daniel Hannan says this:

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/daniel_hannan/blog/2008/12/02/arrogant_police_chiefs_despise_democracy

Those who find Formula 1 motor racing boring, please look away now.

I have been feeling guilty about not blogging. I feel I owe it to regular readers. What a sad git I am. So I have been wondering what to blog about.

I have a theory. The theory is, if you have a dissertation or an essay or a column to write, don't think too hard. What you want to talk about has probably been going round your head for weeks, or even, years. I proved this when I did my degree. I started doing Shakespeare because I could not think of anything else to do for my final dissertation, got bored, abandoned it, and went for Oscar Wilde, whose life and works had intrigued, enthused and amazed me for years. Since I had read Wilde and his biographers inside out, my final dissertation was not only a piece of cake, it was a hugely enjoyable piece of cake.

And so it was with this, the Formula One Grands Prix, and the Lewis Hamilton story. As David Coulthard writes;

For those sports fans who have been in a coma: McLaren were found to have deliberately misled race stewards in Melbourne, resulting in a sensational apology from Lewis Hamilton, who claimed he was told to "withhold information" by sporting director Dave Ryan, a long-serving New Zealander who has since been suspended by the team.

This has been on my mind daily since the story broke. I have to look at it from the perspective of a Dad who has a son one year younger than Lewis, who incidentally, came within a fag paper of being called - Lewis. I know young Weasel is an adult, and a bloody strong adult at that, but imagine, there you are, in a dream world, surrounded by Dad figures, and in the heat of the moment, one of these Dad figures tells you to tell a porky pie. What do you do? It is so tempting to defer to the Dad figure. The Dad figure has been at McLaren for 30 years. He is someone you admire and respect. You want to do the right thing, and ingrained in you is "be a team player".
You are confused, but you go along with it, feeling uncomfortable, but there you go.

Then it all goes ballistic. A man, a real man apologizes, properly. Which is what Lewis Hamilton did, making sure, of course, that the real culprit was named and shamed as he should be.

This should be the end of the story.

David Coulthard again:

Some people have said, 'He's a big boy, he should have thought for himself'. And yes, he is a mature 24-year-old.

But I knew a hell of a lot more when I was 30 than I did at 24. I feel for him, believe me. He has been catapulted to stardom and Formula One can be a very lonely place.

For my money, Lewis Hamilton is a breath of fresh air in F1. He has proved that he can be a player in a car that is less than competitive.

He is 24 years old. Give him a break.

I worry when this happens No59349348

Andre Previn and Michael Fish - separated at birth, but finally re-united on WW.

Muzziwyg

Conservative peer Baroness Warsi was tonight named Britain's most powerful Muslim woman. - according to the Times.

Of course, in the real world of Islam, that means she has no power whatsoever and must do what she is told by Muslim men. It is a world where "getting stoned" means something else.

Consider this

£500 million per annum is spent by our Government on servicing the debt on PFI hospital contracts. This sum does not pay the capital, it merely meets the interest payments. This money goes straight into the pockets of private investors. As a nation, we shall be paying for PFI built hospitals long after they have been pulled down due to poor quality building methods and design.

Just another week

Blogging is just not going to happen when the weather's fine.

I have too much to do outside, because, as some of you will know, I have a bit of land, 17 chickens and a personal vendetta against mother nature.

The G20 was not a riot. Street protests are not what they used to be and anyway there is nothing spontaneous or scary about them anymore. As for the "communique" where is all this money coming from? It either does not exist or it will be tax revenue. If you pay taxes you should be very angry indeed.

Lewis Hamilton has taken a knock this week. One of his big bosses told him to tell a lie and like any boy of his age, he deferred to those who are older and wiser. Except that the man he deferred to is obviously a wanker, who has since been suspended. Lewis did what any kid would do in the circumstances and tried not to rock the boat. You cannot make him carry the can for this week's fiasco.

The BBC have been fined £150,000 for the Ross/Brand affair. Where does this money go? From one shitty quango to another. Big deal.

The best thing on TV all week has been Alan Wicker. Alongside Alistair Cooke, a genius.

My new toy is a flame thrower. Since I am an organic gardener, I kill the weeds with a flame gun of mass destruction. It is the dog's.

I made a casserole from wild boar. Wild Boar is extremely gamey and to be honest, although I can eat pheasant till it comes out of my ears, Wild Boar is a taste sensation too far.

This week I was contacted by a couple who had an international number one hit record and a researcher from "The One Show". I have never seen the One Show, but isn't that the one that Carol Thatcher got ratted out on in the Green Room?
And I telephoned an old friend in LA who headlined at the Isle of Wight fest, Madison Square Garden and a world tour on the back of three top five albums, way back in the Sixties. (Just to show you what an amazing world I live in)

Of course this does not happen every week. Mostly I end up talking to the chickens and being a lonely blogger. The day before I was shovelling chicken poo.

I need a bbbbBrandy Alexander very badly but cannot get Creme de Cacao anywhere.

Have a nice weekend.