Ban Chickenist language and attitudes

Since it is apparent that the Catholics are annoyed with the cartoon series, "South Park" for depicting a bleeding statue of the Virgin Mary, and the Muslims are fed up with the Norwegians for doing a cartoon of Mohammed, I only think it is fair that I speak out against the constant and (in my opinion) vile depiction of poultry in the media, as cowardly, brainless creatures. I urge all sane people, to join me on a march to Downing Street to protest.

First let us dispel the myth of "Mike the Headless Chicken" since this is the evil and sinister source of the idea that chickens can get on perfectly well without a head. Mike was supposedly culled by his owner, but despite losing his head (when all around him kept theirs) he managed to live on for many months, becoming something of a phenomenon. If you are interested, Mike has his own site: http://www.miketheheadlesschicken.org/ This supposedly not only shows that he was clever enough not to need a head, but that he could manage perfectly well without one. And not many of us can say that! But it is all foul lies! Lies I tell you, designed to obfuscate and terrify!

Then there is the language. Those whose sole job it is to discredit and rail against our feathered friends have hijacked the word "Chicken" as a synonym for "Coward". This detestable (and perhaps criminally libelous) ploy is a gross misrepresentation of a Chicken's moral character. On the whole, Poultry are courageous whilst at the same time they are aware of the health and safety issues. The constant use of this term demeans Chickens and is Chickenist.

I could go on, but cyberspace is full of daft ranters and I do not intend to associate with them and be tarred (or feathered) with the same brush.

And now life for Chickens has taken on a more sinister turn. They are being scapegoated as a major threat, singled out as bringers of mass death and disease. Next the authorities will be compiling a "register" of all Chickens. What will they do with this information? Will it contain biometric information such as iris recognition and claw prints? Will they be rounded up and sent to Guatanamo Bay? Will just having a beak and feathers mean you are more likely to be frisked at airports?

I shudder to think. Next time you hear a government representative barking the the words, "Are you, or have you ever been associated with, a Chicken?" be afraid. Be very afraid- if you tolerate this, your ferrets will be next.