AMOROSO AMORI CONDOLEEZA

Cole D Loxx and the Forbaires

It is never easy trying to track down people who made sublime albums in the sixties and seventies and then went to ground. Cole D Loxx and the Forbaires are a case in point. But for your writer, serendipity once again prevailed and, during a stopover at Bryan Ferry International Airport I found my self sitting next to, of all people, DWIGHT D. ESCONDIDO, One of the original FORBAIRES! Dwight was on route to a conference of the Mitochondrial Medicine Society in Bruges.

He was understandably nervous about my approach, apart from suspecting I was gay; it has been a long time since the fan worship and heavy tour schedule brought on so many internal band pressures that the Forbaires imploded, and Cole D Loxx with it.

At last he relented and D.D. began the story.

“Everone jumps to conclusions about the origins of the name. Forbes is one of the colleges LINK HERE at Princeton University. Raoul Fargas, Carlos “The Stoat” Ortega and Manuel “Manny” Goldstein and I all met there as students. We were doing typical Ivy League barber shop material: songs from the thirties and forties, all dressed in straw boaters and stripy blazers,with a novelty potter’s wheel act as a filler."

It was then I made my mistake. I asked about Cole D Loxx.

“You had to bring him up didn’t you? You guys don’t care as long as you get the story! The thieving conniving bastard! Cole took us for everything, the little turd. He always made us wear those cheesy crimpeline slacks while he got to look cool in front with white polo necks and the Cerruti suits. I always made sure I wore a suit and tie for Album Covers, which pissed him off, but the other guys were saps and believed the “smart casual” spiel. He got his lawyers to put a contract together that more or less froze us out of the royalties on AMOROSO AMORI CONDOLEEZA and made sure the Forbaires picked up the tab for the kitten in the chilli incident including the lawyers’s bills and the repairs to the mincer.

With that, Dwight Escondido got up and left. I felt bad, but of course everyone asks about Cole. Sorry DD. (As far as I can ascertain, Cole D Loxx reverted to his real name of Rex Satan and is well known on the accounting software exhibition circuit. He no longer plays the pink oboe)