To cut a long story short, I did a good turn to this wizened old lady. She then revealed herself to be some kind of wisewoman who could offer me three wishes.
"Oh", I pondered, "Three Wishes! Like in Three Wishes". "Yes, of course", she murmered testily, with a stare that suggested she was now beginning to regret the offer, thinking "Oh, another twat". "Usual rules, no exceptions, and if you want that sort of thing then reply to one of your spam emails", she added, as a caution. I took that to mean I could not ask for unlimited wishes or a penis extension or world peace, even though, to be honest, world peace would be a waste of a wish, I think.
"OK, here goes"
Number One. A day in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Number Two. Riches beyond the dreams of avarice.
Number Three. The ability to do one thing really, really well.
Well, the old bag managed to nearly get out of all three, using various caveats and equivocations that I did not build into the wishes, but I can now apply perfect eyeliner without the use of a mirror.
When your chance comes, just be ready for it, that's all.
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