Fraser Nelson and the Heisenberg Compensator

A day or two ago, Iain Dale sent out a plea to the geeks and techies among his readership for advice on how to set up an ISDN line in his home, in order to facilitate a high quality live feed to radio studios.

I could see that he was getting a lot of technical advice, much of it incomprehensible to me, so I decided to send in a spoof comment, with my own advice:

You have been getting a lot of strange advice here, Iain.

What you need is a bog standard Quark interfold, with paralell quadriplexed flux capacitor as standard (don't bother with the Heisenberg Compensator unless you want it to double up as a transporter).

Use your PC or Mac to control the linear transvernal audicable, get yourself a decent voice carapace and a Raytheon Mk11 nargle and Bob's your uncle.

Piece of piss really, if you know what you are talking about.

I actually sell everything you need for a turnkey operation, together with an extended warranty which includes call-out and annual virulence check (fully noded), for only £399

Now, those of you who follow Star Trek or Back to the Future, or indeed any Geek worth the name, would instantly spot the less than truthful nature of my "advice"

Not so, one high profile MSM editor and pundit, none other than Fraser Nelson of the Spectator.

I recieved the following email yesterday:

Dear Wicked Weasel,

I saw you post on Iain Dale's blog - I have the same problem. Am fed

up with going into BBC studios and would like quality voice from home

- but are you saying that your solution (not sure what it's called) is

as good as ISDN and compatible with whatever broadcasters use? If so,

where could I get hold of it and how much would line rental etc be?

Yours hopefully,

Fraser Nelson

The Spectator

It does make you wonder doesn't it? And strangely, I am now "Wicked" Weasel, which I believe is a brand of skimpy beach wear. Defamation and Infamy!


CrazyDaisy said...


You cruel cruel man! I was rolling on the floor laughing my bum off at the flux capacitor piece!

"We're going back, back to the Future."

Hasn't Mr. Nelson made a strange request, "it's not you Marty it's your kids!" Or should I say "it's not you Fraser it's your phoneline!" - gulible or what?!!

"Wicked Weasel" do some rather naughty beachwear, I wouldn't be seen dead in a mankini!

Crazy D

spoof e mail ? said...

Ha ha good one. But be careful as he might be winding you up. He might think that you don't know that he knows that you don't know about the ISDN compatible thingymajig and were just making it up. Whereas you know that he knows that you don't know about it. Plus for a posh bloke from The Spectator his e mail has a few errors in it. HTH

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Fraser has kindly emailed me and put his hands up to his being taken in on this one.

Honestly, you would think "flux capacitor" might be a give away.

spoof said...

That's good then. I was wondering who he was but by coincidence he was on Sky News a few minutes ago commenting on MPs expenses. I've seen him on telly a few times giving his expert advice on various matters.

Lotti said...

Very, very funny. Even I might have latched on to the fact that you were "selling" very dodgy technology indeed...
The poor man must have been absolutely deperate!

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Thanks for the comments. It struck me that the more confident one sounds in these sort of things, the more the punters will be reeled in. Indeed, "Piece of piss really, if you know what you are talking about" kind of sums up the chutzpah.

I should have become a full-time fraudster, but the MPs have taken all the plum jobs.

King Athelstan said...

Nice bit of sport at Mr Nelsons expense I feel. Most amusing.