This time I am afraid the mask will slip.
There was the time when I discovered that young Miss Weasel couldn't get a boyfriend. You know, I used to send her Valentines Cards. She only ever got the one, from me. And then there was the moment when young Master Weasel, in spite of his speech impediment, was able to recite the entire works of Shakespeare (for Children in Need) whilst standing on his one remaining leg. Reading with his one good eye. Sorry for mentioning this, and it was not my plan to parade my family life in front of you, but you need to understand.
I have decided that you must, must see the Weasel without his mask, and maybe then, (sniff), you will love me a bit more.
I came from a broken home and sometimes all we had to live on was lard. We were poor but we were also miserable. I grew up unable to make friends or interact socially, but with a biting ambition to one day get my revenge back on the world that treated me so appallingly.
Remember who commended thy yellow stockings, and
wish'd to see thee ever cross-garter'd ..thy smiles become thee well