Top Down

It's been a very sunny day today, so I fired up the MG and went for a couple of spins with the top down. I also wore a flat tweed cap and a yellow scarf, together with a blue windcheater, and decided I could pass for Mike Hawthorn. Sad to hear Stirling Moss took a tumble down his lift shaft last week. He is 80, and rides around London on a Scooter in order to mend the washing machines in any of the many flats he rents out. Not that he needs to. His flat in Shepherd Market, Mayfair, is worth a cool £10 million. My dad lived around the corner from him in years gone by, but that is another story. Shepherd Market used to be a fabulous little village in the middle of hotel land. All sorts of exotic people came and went. I used to get my hair cut at Trumpers in Curzon Street, the same place Terry Wogan sends his hair to.

Sorry about the lack of blogging, but the weather has been so nice and I really did not want to think about anything at all. Later on tonight, I shall post a big story which will reveal the truth about how Iain Dale is really a lizard and a Bilderburger. (Or is that a Cheeseburger?)


Jim Baxter said...

Anyway, I had this burd in the car wi me an she says, 'You can screw me if you take the top down' so I has the top down in four minutes flat. Mate says to me, 'I can get the top down on my car in 30 seconds' I says to him, 'Aye, but yours is a....'

Etc. etc. Old ones the... etc. etc.

Richard said...

New one on me though!

Having an open top car is the nearest you can get to biking on four wheels. When I am old and grey and can no longer balance myself upright, I'll think about one.

Jim Baxter said...


I was an FJ 1200 man meself. Talk about rolling thunder. 0 - forget it at the speed of thought.

There was me with this burd in her leather gear on the back of the FJ, right, and...


Richard said...

Hang on, finish the first one! I won't sleep tonight until I know what follows "Aye, but yours is a ..."

FJ1100 - always wanted one, but never had the cash at the time. Superb looking bike, and the 12 just as good.

0 - prison in 4.9 seconds.

Jim Baxter said...

AKA 'goodbye licence'

Yours is a... convertible.

Richard said...

Fabulous. Indeed, I hadn't heard it before. Reminds me of the one about the - er - person from a country to the West of the UK, and the chainsaw.

"... what's dat noise?"

Clams Linguini said...

Hey, Ged 'The Weasel'

Pardon me bustin in on your party and all but there's good news over at that mezza fanook Old Holborn's joint. Just to putya in the picture:

Asked one question too many about his business Frank Costello told the Senator to ‘Go shit in your hat’. It’s a fact that Vincent ‘Chin’ Gigante knew how to shoot straight. He was a sportsman – he liked to go hunting here and there so why wouldn’t he be able to shoot straight?

The guys that couldn’t shoot straight were Crazy Joe’s crew - they made some kinda film with the Jerry ‘Law and Order’(right!) Orbach guy in it. Everybody knows that Crazy Joe got his at Umberto’s, then on Mulberry Street, now moved up a coupla hundred yards uptown. Fews remember that Crazy Joe was concerned to the last about pain-in-the-ass innocent bystanders and took care with his dying breaths to draw fire away from them.

No way that Chin was on a hit. Don Vito Genovese, rest in peace, thought maybe it was time Frank tried a new hairstyle. Chin was just helping out giving Frank a new side-parting with a lead comb considering Chin was at the time thinking of going into the barbering trade which, eventually, after due consideration, he didn’t on account of having a low voice which had trouble with the high C.

Anyway, to those that put Nick Hogan in the Big House, go shit in your hats.

Clams Linguini said...

Fuckn pezzo novantes.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Glad to hear Nick Hogan is outa the joint.

His girl, Pearl, is pleased, but you could notta found a dumber blond as Pearl. Always asking questions, so she's known as 40 Watt Pearl.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Having an open top car, Richard, is my way of not buying a bike and departing this world before my time. I had a near death experience on a Vespa on the Isle of Man, and that convinced me I should leave two wheels to people with a death wish.

Richard said...

A Vespa? That goodness you survived it. It would be a bit like getting run over by a Nissan Micra - just too embarrassing. I assure you I have no intention of checking out early from this fascinating planet, though. In fact, I use my own motorcycling as material for lecturing in risk management. Executive summary of the course: "you can control risk but you can't eliminate it. Now get on with your life."