The Perils of running a Bed and Breakfast House

I have never understood why people run B&Bs. Let us think it through; you have a perfectly nice home, and you decide that it would be fun to let complete strangers stay in it. Strangers who will leave stains, or polonium traces or without paying.

On top of this, you have a lot of washing to do. On top of that, you have to be nice all the time. Should you get into an argument with one of your guests, you might end up with a visit from the local Constabulary. If you decide, when these unknowns arrive, you had better be sure they are not gay, or black, or gypsies or anything other than white and male, or you may find you chuck them at your peril.

And so it is with regret that I say to those who open a B&B expecting that nice people like them will be the only punters, maybe a little time spent thinking it through in the beginning, might have helped. If you are prone to argue with Muzzies, then don't open a B&B. If you don't want Gays, then don't open a B&B.

Just really, be like me - I find the majority of humanity quite unpleasant and spend most of my time avoiding them. So, if you really, deep down, have a problem with certain kinds of people, instead of opening your home to a bunch of people you really do not like, then come out as a miserable, misanthropic git and be honest about yourself and become a traffic warden or, as in my case, have enough money not to need to open my home to any other than VFRs.

Addendum:

This post is attracting the attention of B&B people - I would like to read what they have to say about it all.

Of course, there are a lot of very good places, run by people who understand hospitality and quality. However, staying at one still means you have to look at other people and be polite at 8 a.m.

Note to B&B hosts: make sure you have a very good web site and never, never tell people you are wonderful...Tracy and Darren are renowned for their warm welcome...at best, it smacks of desperation and being over ingratiating, and at worst you are in for the benefit of Darren's wisdom on everything, or his hobbies. All I want from a B&B is clean sheets, real coffee, and some peace.

2 comments:

TractorStats said...

Illegals shacked up in yer garden sheds is the latest craze down south and you have to pay them!

subrosa said...

I'd be prepared to share some of my experiences privately with you. Email me if you like.