Check your bottom

Went out last night? Can't remember what you did? Check your bum, old chum. A woman died in 2009, after an operation to remove a toilet brush from her bottom, that had apparently been lodged there since 2005, after a drunken fall.

Somehow I don't know where to start; this happened in Lincolnshire, my home county, the woman must have been very drunk, and she was examined by a Dr called Killan Mbewe, whose Zambian medical qualifications did not apparently cover loo brushes up the rectum, how to spot them, and how to remove them.
Now, I don't know about you, but I have a very sensitive bottom. I am one of the many poor souls who buy that moist bathroom stationery, and so I reckon I could tell if I had something larger than a matchstick up there. Anal sex would have been right out for me, even if I fancied it, which I don't. I thought doctors were paid to look at bottoms. Have they stopped doing them under health and safety rules? Are women from Lincolnshire so terminally stupid that they are happy to walk around with small domestic appliance up their bums?

I am confused. I appeal to readers to explain how this might have happened. I have included pictures to help focus your thoughts.


Rebel Saint said...

Lol :o)

Rebel Saint said...

PS - Lol = your post (especially the helpful visuals!). Not so "Lol" is the story itself of the tragic effects of drunkenness and medical incompetence

YorkshireLad said...

I shall be sure to point this very serious issue to ladies of my acquaintance. Indeed I may offer to carry out an inspection at no extra charge!

pain in the ..... said...

Knowing someone who works for NHS24 this is quite common but usually with gay men. It was almost certainly not a drunken fall but placed there during a sex game. She would have hoped to get it out herself or that it came out naturally. When that failed she would phone NHS24 who would tell her to go to a doctor. She would put off the humiliation until the pain got too great and when the doctor said there was nothing there she would try and get it out herself before going back to the docs. Just unlucky to get a useless foreign doctor but this is quite common aswell now.