All Life is here

I thought I would give you a few highlights and lowlights of my recent doings.

I went to the Palace of Holyrood to see an exhibition of Dutch landscape paintings. All I can say about Dutch painters of the collection I saw is that they could not paint clouds or trees. What they seem to have been good at, and were most interested in, was capturing the little everyday lives of everyday people. Within the paintings are little vignettes of human acitivity, brimming with wit and on the whole it was a delightful exhibition.

I popped into Cadenhead's for some strong single malts. I am particularly enamoured of Longrow CV from the Springbank Distillery.

I am seeing a lot more of Young Miss Weasel now that she has moved from France to Lockerbie. It is an incredible treat. I love the way she just leaves stuff around the house because I missed out on that for many years.

I got annoyed by a programme on the BBC, not because it was political but because it was crap. The Magicians, hosted by Lenny Henry is a travesty of what a good magic show should be. As a magician myself of over 40 years standing. I know how it is done. How it should be done is to build drama and suspense and surprise and fun. This programme has contracted a lot of c list celebs and some young magicians at what is probably a great expense. They have a host who should be able to carry the show. This show just failed at the gate. It refused to entertain me. Penn and Teller it was not. They are today's great magicians and they know how to create drama. Say what you like but Paul Daniels is a very good magician, much more of a magician's magician really. He had the help of Ali Bongo. Ali Bongo was the Leonardo Da Vinci of the magic world. He had been working with TV magicians and on TV shows that featured magic for half a century before he died. Had he seen The Magicians he would be spinning in his casket.

I am becoming addicted to Violet Creams. I first learned about Violet Creams at a bespoke choclatier in Folkingham, Lincolnshire. I can get a reasonable one at Luca's in Musselburgh, but at over 50 pence a pop, I shall have to start selling my bum and with my bum in the condition it is in, it will be a painful addiction to maintain.


subrosa said...


Jim Baxter said...

Good stuff. Good stuff.

Indirection is the thing. Erections follow. You get beautiful women to take their clothes off and come to bed with you when you do it right. No harm is done. Doesn't matter who you are or what you look like. It's all about confidence.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Ah, Rosa! Last time I went into Boots for that particular preparation the young assistant shouted across the shop to a colleague "Do we have Anusol?" I would have been a bit less embarrassed if she had said "Do we have extra small strawberry ticklers".

Not so much confidence Jim, but a naive lack of insight.

Brian said...

Subrosa: I'm a Sassenach and even I know it's spelled slangevar.
I went into Boots in Chorlton many years ago and the very sweet assistant on the pharmacy counter asked what I wanted, "Er, a packet of paracetamol please" I replied. She smiled sympathetically and asked "Are you sure you don't want anything else?" looking at the carefully arranged packets of condoms meaningfully. "Not with this headache" I replied, sadly.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Brian, I think they are trained not to, but you still get Supermarket check-out people who comment on the contents of your trolley.

If I had money to burn I would go to the check out with a trolley full of cabbages and guinness.

King Athelstan said...

I have that problem with Canesten, they always ask if its for my feet or for THRUSH!

Hamish said...

Many years ago I went into a sportswear shop and discreetly asked the young female assistant if they stocked athletic supporters. She looked puzzled and went and over and spoke to the boss. When she came back she said loudly: "Oh you mean a jock strap".

Hamish said...

Before you embark on this route, heed the words of the bard:
"your chilblains nae temptation".