Do I really have to go on?
Bob Geldof had this to say about the way the courts discriminate against men in child custody cases
Mr. Geldof had to fight for custody of his three daughters from his former wife Paula Yates and alleges that British courts "consistently" show bias against men by handing custody to mothers.
"I can hardly read the literature on Family Law without simultaneous feelings of an awful sadness and profound rage. Sadness at what has been done to our children and their families and deep rage for our Family Courts and the inadequate practitioners that work within it."In the near future the Family Law under which we endure will be seen as barbaric, criminally damaging, abusive, neglectful, harmful to society, the family, the parents and the children in whose name it purports to act. It is beyond scrutiny or criticism and like a secret society its members - the judges, lawyers, social and child "care" agencies behave like any closed vested interest and protect each others' backs.
"The court is entirely informed by outdated social engineering models and contemporary attitudes rather than fact, precedent rather than common sense and modish unproven nostrums rather than present day realities. It is a disgraceful mess. A farrago of cod professionalism and faux concern largely predicated on nonsensical social guff, mumbo-jumbo and psycho-babble. Dangling at the other end of this are the lives of thousands of British children and their families.
the courts have consistently acted against society's interest through the application of prejudice, gender bias and awful impartial cruelty."
One example of many where men are unfairly discriminated against and I think you will agree it is a fairly fundamental one.
There is no doubt. We are fair game. We are the new scapegoats. All the ills of the world are now placed at our door and the prejudice against us is as deep rooted as any phobia you care to mention.
Harman's "Equality" legislation goes further. Writing in June 2008, for The Times, Minette Marin wrote:
we have a minister who is prepared, with the full backing of a Labour government, to enshrine in law, in the name of equality, the principle of institutionalised inequality against menWhite, straight men, that is.
And it is even stranger that the only politicians so far to be arrested and charged with fraud are white, male and straight, bar one, who is a male but black and a Tory. No Muslims, women or gays and yet there are plenty in these categories who could be charged with similar offenses.
Rosa Parks decided she was fed up being sent to the back of the bus. One of these days it is going to be me.
UPDATE: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/conservative/8279200/Dominic-Raab-men-should-burn-their-briefs-in-protest-at-obnoxious-feminist-bigots.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1350128/Tory-MP-Dominic-Raab-calls-male-equality-Feminists-bigots.html
When I wrote this piece I was unaware of Dominic Raab's comments.
Perhaps the time has come to fight back and perhaps many of us feel the same. See comments.
Hat tip, Brian.
8 comments:
Dominic Raab MP
All what you say is true. l brought up my 2 daughters aged 5 and 8 by myself. Apart from being white and straight, l had the added problem of being a 6ft+, shaven headed, biker.
I never had any contact with Social Services nor was l ever on benefits. l was responsible for my daughter's upbringing and nobody from such as the SS ever got a look-in.
l only ever had one problem and that was when the eldest had been bullied at school. This was when they both just started going to that school. lt was within walking distance so l let them do just that, walk.
So, when my eldest(8) told me l waited until the next morning. l left my eldest with the neighbours and took my 5 yr old to school ... on the Harley. l rode through the front gates where only the teachers cars were allowed, down to the entrance of the school, parked up and walked my 5 yr old to the doors. l then went back and repeated this with the eldest. At homecoming time l picked them up. The next day they went back to walking to school. The bullying stopped.
As the years progressed l built up quite a relationship with the school and the staff, helping out where and when l could. The teachers all remembered that day l brought the girls to school on the bike. The noise of the beast had got everyones attention! :)
l also remember the day that l got a phonecall from the Head saying that there had been an incident with my youngest (then 7) and a school bully in the class above. l asked was my daughter ok and what had happened. Turned out it was the bully that was not ok ... my daughter had kicked him in the nuts when he picked on her. Wonder who taught her that? :) They actually became very good friends after that.
I sometimes wonder how things would turn out nowadays if l was in that same position of being a single father of 2 young daughters.
Both my daughters are now career professionals.
I hate to say it, but Geldof is absolutely right on this one. The court system is stacked against men at every level. I attended a custody hearing after my divorce, and my ex-wife was given ample time to speak about my shortcomings (and none of it was challenged) and tell outright lies. The hearing was then closed and we were bundled out. I asked my solicitor when I would get the chance to put my side of the case (she wanted sole custody, whereas I wanted joint) and he said that the judge had closed the case there and then, and awarded my ex what she wanted. If I wanted to repoen it, it would take approx 6 months and around £3000. I couldn't afford the money or deal with the emotional strain of another battle, so I accepted the verdict and moved on. I still saw a lot of the girls (on her terms, mind) and today we have a great relationship. In fact, I am travelling to England today, where I am spending the day with them both. But I have bruises from that court experience from which I will never recover. What damage it did to the girls I cannot imagine. One of the reasons I loathe Harman and her kind so viscerally. I was a good guy, I loved my kids, I was a proper New Man, changed nappies, did all the night feeds, everything. And yet because I had XY chromosomes I was treated like shit.
Excellent use of the Harley, Smoking Hot! I shall remember that one. (Wouldn't work quite so well on a Honda C50, though.)
Thanks for the link Brian. Richard and Smoking, what can I say? Thank you of course. Thank you for sharing what must be painful memories. I too had to to through it but I was so traumatised I could do no more than to let events take their course. My divorce and loss of my kids was the only time in my life that I needed or wanted to see a counsellor.
My first wife hired a sharp expensive lawyer and I lost nearly everything. She tried to prevent me from seeing my kids at all but that got sorted out thankfully. The next few years were the worst I have even encountered and it was frought with crises and hearbreak and the kind of emotional extortion that only this circumstance can produce.
I cannot believe how cruel someone could be, but there you go, she had the weight of the law on her side and she played it for all it was worth.
My ex wife is unhappy and alone, after a string of relationships, including one that I had to rescue her and the kids from because he was a known psychopath, and another because he was being abusive to my daughter. On that occasion I simply told the man I would come down with some friends and break his legs if he did not clear off out of the house and that did the trick.
We are good friends, me and my kids and love has kept us together. When I broke up with my first wife there was an assumed right of the woman to have custody. I lost many years of seeing them grow up.
Nowadays, I look around the house and see that my daughter has left stuff here and there as if she owns the place. My son calls me at all times of the day and we are always bunging them a few quid for this and that. Whenever they are with us they eat us out of house and home and there's stuff everywhere. They bring their friends to stay and drink my booze and stay up late.
Yes, its normal. Very wonderfully, joyously, normal. Beautifully normal and that is all I ever wanted.
Thanks to WW and Richard for sharing. My post gives the impression that my bringing up of my daughters was without legal interference and heartache ... it could not be further from the truth.
My divorce was vicious and nasty. Most of this can be put firmly on the doorstep of lawyers. It is they who instigate it. They tell their clients what they are entitled to and fuel the fire of hatred against the former husband. The ex-wives are simply used as a means for lawyers to increase their fee. This happens far too often, so much so it has become the norm. There are the ex-wives who don't need any such goading but they are in the minority.
l was in the fortunate position of having the counsel of a barrister friend although legally he could not do so. He told me not to trust either my own lawyer or my ex-wifes. He said that they would arrange our divorce on the golf course or some other function where these lawyers meet.
So l went through my divorce seemingly doing things by chance and going against my lawyers counsel. There was no chance of getting custody, l had been forewarned by my barrister friend of this. As for maintainance, l must have had an order made against me for the lowest ever known ... 10p per year per child!
So then came the visiting rights to my daughters. What a bloody nightmare, my ex did everything to screw it up. So much so that in the end l decided that if l wasn't going to see my daughters it would be my decision and not my ex's. l left to work in the USA. Hardest decision l've ever made in my life.
I wrote and rang constantly to my daughters. Sent postcards wherever l was and when l visited the UK, l did so unannounced. One time it was Xmas and my daughters were coming to my mother's for Xmas Day. l arrived Xmas Eve. My family wrapped me up in a big box on Xmas Day just prior to my daughters arrival. They told my daughters it was a present from Father Xmas. That was a truly magical experience.
As WW did, l helped my ex-wife leave the asshole of a partner she was with and we tried again and bought a new home.. lt didn't work ... but this time round l had learned. She was one to leave ... no lawyers, no courts, nothing. l paid for everything and told my ex that when it came to our daughters leaving home l would pay her back the money (as the percentage value) she had put into the house when we bought it as l would then sell the house.
2 years ago l kept my promise. We have been close friends for many years now ... sometimes too close for comfort if l'm honest but there again, isn't it usually 'the first cut is the deepest'?
Thanks WW for letting me share this, our experiences may help others who are about to travel this thorny path.
Group hug, guys. We've survived.
Some of us are still doing it!
"Rosa Parks decided she was fed up being sent to the back of the bus. One of these days it is going to be me."
I have said so many times of the last year "we need a 'woman on the bus' moment".
We're not ready for it yet. But in recent weeks I have sensed appetite for an escalation of our argument. An MP above the parapet is a great sign.
http://lovefromdaddy.blogspot.com/2011/01/mainstream-misandry.html
http://lovefromdaddy.blogspot.com/2011/01/mind-bandwagons.html
Just realize that "woman on the bus" moment was not spontaneous. It had very carefully orchestrated ahead of time.
From an Alabamian
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