I suppose i have to do this....

I AM: a woodland creature
I WANT: A ride-on garden tractor
I HATE: culturally sanctioned violence like Boxing.
I MISS: certan smells, like old car smells and diesel engines. I miss R&J.
I FEAR: nothing...no, no, I mean the concept of "nothing"
I HEAR: Max, the cockerel and the hum of the computer.
I WONDER: how forgiving God really is.
I REGRET: very little, except maybe not having matching ears, and sometimes running away from problems.
I AM NOT: interested in sport or available for weddings or barmitzvahs
I DANCE: when no one is looking, just like a dancing dad.
I SING: all the time, pretending to be Louis Armstrong
I SEE: trees of green, red roses too..
I CRY: at stupid soppy films and over lost love.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: keen on seeing people or shaving.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: intricate clockwork dildos with rubber tentacles to sell at farmers' markets.
I WRITE: because of the voices...
I CONFUSE: most people, most of the time, especially sales assistants.
I NEED: A holiday and some 20mm gravel for the garden
I SHOULD: be very wealthy and have lots of adoring, intelligent, brunettes wanting my body. And I should have published my book by now and finished the ironing pile.
I START: sorry. Mrs Weasel says, "don't start anything"
I FINISH:..nothing satisfactorily


Candy Minx said...

This might be the funniest thing I've read all week...

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: intricate clockwork dildos with rubber tentacles to sell at farmers' markets.

Who cares what you start or finish or accomplish if you are THIS talented heh heh

Now get out there and write and publish!!!!

Best wishes

wrinkled weasel said...

not quite steely dan?

Red said...

Yes, films still do it for me, too. The end of Big Fish? I was a blubbing mess.

I’ve visited a few of your early posts, WW, but couldn’t find an answer to a nagging question I have. Maybe you can just come out and tell me: You don’t eat your own chickens, do you? I mean... surely they are pets, non? They’re very beautiful, BTW.

Cynnie said...

I like to sing like Ethel Merman ...
My children have even offered me money not to.

Jules said...

I'm under the doctor too.