Guest Contributor - CAPTAIN NICE

Hello, Captain Nice here, as usual, cawwying on the fight against all things not quite nice. I am delighted to tell wegular weaders that I have started to compile a list of the top nicest people, just in case you are at the BAFTA’s or the IVY or the Gwoucho Club one night and you are wonderwing who to go over and shake hands with. Of course, you could say “hello” to people not on the list but then wun the wisk of incurwing chagwin and wancour.

1. Bob Holness. (Inspired by (I hope I can call him my fwiend) Asterwisk)

2. Sir Cliff Wichard. (Well, he had to be on didn’t he?)

3. Sir Twevor McDonald

4. Wolf Hawwis

5. Wowan Williams the AB of C (or indeed anyone with excessively bushy eyebrows)

6. Shirley Henderson

7. Edith Bowman

8. Michael Martin (Speaker of the H of C)

9. John Malkovich

10. Shami Chakwabarti (Diwector of Liberty)

Well, folks, there must be a lot more nice people out there apart from yourselves, of course, so let me know if you want your own favourwite on the list.

With the kindest wegards, your friend,


1 comment:

* (asterisk) said...

I am your fwiend -- sorry, friend -- indeed, Cap.

You know who else seems nice: Bill Turnbull from breakfast news and Celeb Come Dancing fame. He's a beekeeper, you know, and makes his own honey.

But I must must must ask you to reconsider Cliff Richard. I'm not one to use foul language, as well you know, but he is a Grade A lady's parts, or man's parts, if you prefer. Both are applicable.