Invade Switzerland

I love Switzerland. Bastardy bum I have cancelled a trip to Vaud because my GBPs aint worth shit anymore.

However, a regular commenter on Iain Dale, recommends we invade Switzerland. This is a great idea. What we need is a plan and a pretext.

I hear they have Watches of Mechanical Distinction. (see photogaphic evidence, above) Perhaps a dodgy dossier could be put together from somebody's undergraduate dissertation. Probably only cost me a tenner to use it, Five if you skimp on the footnotes and bibliography. All that CERN stuff and Higgin Bosuns. They can't prove they are not going to end the universe with it, can they? A haven for Tourism and Tourist activity, as George W would say.

In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace. Not anymore!

Let's go! We''ll be taking snaps by the Jet d'Eau by lunchtime!

I have been informed by a reliable source in Downing Street that the Swiss have the capability to dispatch an international passenger train within 45 minutes of its scheduled departure time. Bastards.

4 comments: said...

Send them our greatest weapon.....fear and alarm....supserstition....fear....torture.... Gordon Brown....

Appologies to monty python

Jim Baxter said...

Thay have a defence policy of 'extracting the maximum entry price'. Bit like all their other policies then.

It is one of the few places in Europe where you can be travelling on a sweet little train through majestic scenery with a part-time soldier's casually slung sub-machine gun looking down at you with great curiosity from the luggage rack. That too will change I suppose.

Yes, the Hoggs' Ableseaman is a menace to the universe. Let's do it.

Anonymous said...

I meant to say, I think I may have missed a metaphor in the 'scenery-machine-gun' juxtaposition there.

You know, like that story about the drying green where all the vests are hanging, 'The Sward o' Damp Claes'.

Jim Baxter said...

Damn. Pressed anon. Damned thing. Me best joke ever too.

wv: moranuk

(Made that up. Must apply to join that team.)