It has long been a tabu in this house to mention the "B" word, as this inevitably brings on a downpour of Biblical proportions. In fact, it is God punishing us for being to optimistic and idolatrous about the sun.
So the Met Office have had their feathers ruffled for telling us we are going to have, and I quote, a "Barbecue Summer". (Do let me know if you have had one, and I will come and stay)
Gordon Brown is apparently ready to go head to head with David Cameron on a US Presidential style, live TV debate. Bring it on! I want to see him pissing himself live on television and grinning like a tit in inappropriate places.
I have moved from a place where my nearest neighbour was half a mile away. I now live next to a cottage with four kids. Why do they scream all the time? I am probably going to end up on the news over them. Don't get me wrong. I like kids, but I could not eat a whole one.
I am missing my chickens. I went to visit Mrs Enderby today in her new home. She is pining and wasting away. The Marans ignored me. They have moved on.