Leave more Cool Queries Here. I shall be adding further lessons in How to be Cool, or more correctly, how to know if you are cool, later today. In the meantime, an earnest writer asks "Are Museums Cool?" What about Coffee Shops?" I have reposted my reply:
Are Museums Cool? They certainly are.
Every single museum on the planet, from the niches ones, like the Barometer Museum: http://www.barometerworld.co.uk/ to the British Museum are all, very safely within the margins of cool and you can visit, safe in the knowledge that Buddy Holly or Janis Joplin or Jimi Hendrix would be just as interested in how things work and the way things were, as you are. Indeed my Rock Star friends always do museums when they are over from LA.
And now the very important issue of Coffee and Coffee shops. Coffee is cool. It will never be not cool. However, when entering a coffee shop, ask only for a "Normal, medium Coffee" or a double espresso. All the rest - the skinny lattes and the machiofellatios with marshmallows are for interior designers, people who like Elaine Paige and people who iron their duvets and Peter Mandelson. Am I making myself clear? Don't buy the muffins. They are made of children from third world shitholes or recycled tires. To sum up, buying fancy coffee with names that, until recently, you had never heard of, is not only not cool, but you may as well give up and wear a baseball cap with "I am a dick" written on it.
And while on the subject of hats: This is tricky. I depends on the hat and where it is. A hard hat on the parcel shelf of a Mondeo is not cool. It does not really imply you are a civil engineer charged with repairing the Forth Road Bridge, it is more redolent of "I'm on the move, I'm a hod carrier and a member of a Village People tribute band. I wear a black french beret from time to time, but only with my battered black leather coat, which makes me look as if I am in the French Resistance or The Stranglers. Women should wear hats. I like a woman in a hat, so that when she takes it off her hair falls out of it and makes her look wild.
Reflective jackets are not cool, even if you rely on them to stay alive, such as on a motorcycle. Motorcyclists do not generally consider "staying alive" to be a priority. Marlond Brando did not wear a dayglo jacket in The Wild One or smoke Camels with health warnings. There are clues, if you look for them.
Posted by Wrinkled Weasel on Thursday, March 11, 2010