Germany has won the Eurovision Song Contest, with a song that I would not give house-room to. I listened to it and had to chuck it after a minute. It sounds like all the adolescent drivel that gets piped into supermarkets these days.
As for poor Josh, the UK entry, he came last, as all gentlemen should do. And as all gentleman should do, he and Peter Waterman should repair to a private room with an old service revolver.
I did not watch the show, but apparently the highlight was someone doing a Jarvis Cocker and leaping on stage to freak out the Spanish entrant. None of my choices did anything; my tip for the top (see below) came 22 out of 25, with my other two hopefuls failing to make it to the finals at all, so that's me then, not knowing much at all.