Essential Cool Part Six - Books
As I said on earlier sermons, Cooking is cool, but it certainly is not cool with Jamie Oliver. It is cool with Elizabeth David. It is not cool to bring out a book if you have been on The X Factor, or Cum Dancing or you are a failed politician with a big ego. It is not cool to be a stupid Bimbo with fake tits who "writes a book".
Another bete noir of mine is the "God does not exist, and I prove it" book. In the sixties, it was Eric Von Daniken, today it is Richard Dawkins. You can bet that when everyone is pissed and it's about 12 at night, any mention of God and some twat comes up with, "I read this book that proves God does not exist". Yeah. Sorry, old boy, but when you get to the Pearly Gates, your copy of The God Delusion will be as useful to you as an anal fissure. Perhaps the following list may impress Saint Peter. Anybody going to Heaven with a copy of Richard Mabey's Food for Free, will get in under the "Eden Dispensation". (caveat, I am not a theologian)
So what is the Cool Canon, and how can you affect to have it on your shelves?
Here is a by no means exhaustive or organised list of books that are cool. If you have not read even one of them, I suggest you end it all now, because, and sorry, you should be walking around with a pointy hat and leg warmers.
Travels with Charley - John Steinbeck
Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
The Glass Bead Game - Hermann Hesse
On the Road - Jack Kerouac
Food for Free - Richard Mabey
Self Sufficiency - John Seymour
Elizabeth David's Classics - Elizabeth Dayayayvid
Larousse Gastronomique - Prosper Montagne
The Riddle of the Sands - Erskine Childers
39 Steps - John Buchan
The Growth of the Soil - Knut Hamsun
Icelandic Sagas - VA
Starting with Chickens - Katie Thear
Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux
The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
A Farewell to Arms - Earnest Hemingway
1984 - George Orwell
A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
Naples '44 - Norman Lewis
The Bible - (attr.) God
Sapphire - Katie Price (aka Jordan)
A rebours - Joris Karl Huysmans
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
The Shipping News - E. Annie Proulx
Out of Africa - Karen Blixen
The Calm White Brow - Eille Somersby
As I said, this list is not exhaustive and is heavily influenced by my own tastes. Submissions for Cool Books that you have read will be welcomed and shall bear the imprimatur and nihil obstat mustela frigus.
Just kidding about Katie Price. Honestly.
Posted by Wrinkled Weasel on Tuesday, November 02, 2010