My youngest child is almost a quarter of a century old, and yet I am still embroiled in a minor but annoying dispute with the Child Support Agency. (Incidentally I have tried to involve my MP, my Labour MP, who has so far not even acknowledged my letter).
Over Seventeen years ago, my life was torn apart by a marriage gone bad. It was devastating and heartbreaking, because my wife made every effort to deprive me of my home and more importantly, my children in the nastiest and most underhand way she could whilst playing a convincing role as "the victim". I shall not go into this further, because it is private, and affects living people who are close to me.
Suffice to say, I can look back now with a degree of comfort. I have a wonderful relationship with my kids, despite the damage my ex-wife tried to inflict on my relationship with them, and my friends and family. But I shall never forget the pain. Ever.
Why am I saying this now? Because it still goes on. The way the state deals with break-ups favours women, regardless of blame. It was the same for me and it is the same for many. I was moved to read this:
http://lovefromdaddy.blogspot.com/
It more or less sums up the dire process inflicted on men who merely want to see their children now and again.
1 comment:
I wish you hadn't posted that link. That, and your post here, reflect my own experiences so well it's brought them all back. That's fucked today, then.
We're on parallel tracks, my friend. 2 girls, mid-20s, divorce 18 years ago, an awkward and spiteful ex, and an experience of the family courts that shattered me, and my belief in the justice system (and left me broke and houseless). I have a good relationship with my girls now, although I suspect that real 'family' closeness will only come when they have kids of their own and I will have a 'proper' role as Grandad.
The system is loaded against men in ways that Kafka would have thought unreasonably far-fetched.
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