A night at the Hotel of Terror

It was foggy and the air was full of the wrong kind of ice, not the ice you can put in a shaker. Two dolls check into a hotel somewhere. They do doll things like spending too much time in the can and then get out a lot of food that has been sneaked in past the hall porter. A bottle of Malibu lies half drunk on the dresser and the dolls are half drunk on a bed that, if it could talk, would mainly say "fuckin ell" a lot. One of the dolls cuts her finger on a lady razor and has to go down to reception for a band-aid. There is blood in the sink.

The other doll opens the drawer by the bedside cabinet. In there is a Gideon Bible. Right now, she is not thinking about bedtime reading, for, next to the Bible is a Toblerone with one piece missing. She is thinking about the Toblerone, not about getting religion. There's also a tub of foot cream. But she does not notice the foot cream and her desire for the Toblerone has been checked and despite its inviting cover and message of hope she overlooks the Gideon Bible. Because in the drawer is a meat cleaver.

A meat cleaver. This was the kind of hotel you find knickers under the bed from the last occupant and you find brown stains and bogies on the radiator that look like bas relief everywhere, but hey, it was cheap. What the dolls did not bargain for was finding the genuine Sabatier cleaver in the bedside drawer.

Dear Friends, You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of The Knife in the Hotel Drawer.

It's true! It happened over Christmas to some friends of Miss Weasel and only the names have been changed to protect the gullible and innocent. All you have to do now is use your detective skills to provide a plausible scenario.

13 comments:

Jim Baxter said...

Mystery solved. Criswell. That's where that comes from.

Miss Weasel said...

My Comments sent to my unfortunate friend who had to spend the night at the Hoter of Horror-
Slightly worried for you, thats rather messed up the whole knife thing, have you checked under the bed for bodies? stumbled upon a dodgy U.F.O/Bazaar goings on mag the other day - read that apparently its a relatively common way of disguising a body after Domestic/intimate relations gone wrong leading to Laceration by conventional weapon of choice - knife. so perhaps check under bed...sure it'll be fine..i think..nah it'll be fine, blatantly the previous occupants of the hotel room rekindled their love in the last dying seconds before the knife came out. Take care! - No, really! xxxx

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Jim, I snitched a bit from Criswell but the story is true!

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Miss Weasel, you have chores to do.

Miss Weasel said...

mmmm always fancied myself a detective, lets have a go; Maybe the toblerone was wittingly laced in Cyanide given to the unwitting Lover/ex lover/ soon not to be so much lover etc etc.
The (soon to be deceased) victim then is lured in by the ...unadulterated (or so they thought) temptuous, delicious ''Toblerone!'' after a smooth relaxing, seducing massage with the cream. Soon enough our expert homicidal maniac realises with the admitted dose, the victim will soon fall into an easy, clean sleep. - But then all intelligence is lost by the accused and therfor decides seeing as its christmas it'd be a cracking (hehe) way to end a beautiful relationship by hiding the body under the bed.
- Move over Sheridan Smith, Jonathan Creek here i come! :P xx

Miss Weasel said...

Forgot to say - number 1 rule, lol, never leave the murder weapon in the bedside drawer, never will they think ''it's too obvious, they wouldn't be that stupid'' sadly there are many stupid (unfortunate) people in the world and yes they would really think that was a commendable decision.

Miss Weasel said...

With reference to a comment directed at my unwitting friend who mentioned "If the Landlord looks like Tony Perkins or his mum, get the hell outta there!"- I replied - Tony Perkins as in the serial horror film (Alred Hitchcock) Actor (sends chills down your spine Tony Perkins? or the 'Family Butcher' Tony Perkins - http://www.tonyperkins.co.uk/ both just as bad i suppose :P

Clams Linguini said...

Missy, you always leave the weapon at the scene. Always. That's on Page One of how to make your bones.

You leave the weapon but you take the cannoli. Was there any cannoli found at the scene? You know what -I guess not.

Brian said...

That's not a meat cleaver, it's a santoku knife for slicing, dicing or mincing meat and veg. Santokus are often preferred by people with small hands who find the standard pointed blade knives a bit cumbersome. The technique changes from rock-chop in which more of the blade cuts(like a pair of scissors) to downward chop (like a guillotine). It's whatever you feel comfortable with. The scallops on the blade indicate a low to mid price range knife (more expensive better steel doesn't need this anti-stick feature (like a bayonet's blood channel) because the steel can be polished and sharpened more. There's so many Sabatier companies that Sabatier-type black and steel rivet handle is a better description.
In conclusion, the knife is probably the property of a young, recently qualified, probably female, low-paid commis-chef, with sore feet from long hours standing in the kitchen and a craving for chocolate (but guilt about body image prevents eating more than a chunk). The santoku may have fallen out of a canvas knife roll onto the floor and placed in the drawer by the chambermaid (who really doesn't have time to take it to reception).
Of course, I could be wrong.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Best normal and convincing answer yet, Sherlock.

Hamish said...

WW: Chandler you ain't.
Miss WW: commiserations, we all have parents.
Others: some of you made me chuckle out loud.
Guid New Year to most of you.

Brian said...

WW: I delight in the wonder of the ordinary. To me a sparrow is just as amazing as a parrot. Couldn't the life of the commis chef be more interesting and worthy of detailed examination than a slasher psycho?

James said...

Meat cleavers are as cheap as chips these days so was probably in the drawer for a while . Not much cleaning in a £20 room. Quick shake of the sheets to get rid of the old farts and that's about it. The cleaver was probably used by guests to slice up their pork luncheon meat or whatever they were eating that was cheap and cheerful and avoided spending money in restaurants.
The bible and the foot cream ?
Most likely used by someone still in the closet. Used as lube while riding his boyfriend while chanting verses from Paul Chapter 3 to help ease his guilt.
Toblerone ? Heck who needs any raeson for that stuff ? Tasty mmm....