GUEST CONTRIBUTOR - Colonel Mustard



Yes folks I'm back. I confess. I am an utter b'stard. In the Conservatory with Miss Scarlet? mmm? That was me. I did it. Isn't Norman Kember an utter James Blunt? Wasting time in Iraq when he should have been at home selling flags for the old poofs retirement home. (Larry Grayson and John Inman, patrons) Send him Cockle Picking in Morcambe bay in heavy duty cord trousers and a chamois leather jerkin. This blog is such a load of Auntie's pants.

You like old movies don't you, Weas? Did you know they are doing a remake of Brief Encounter called, "Meet the Thong"? It'll be all Sharon Stone and no knic....well, all Sharon Stone. And of course there is the sequal to BJ Malkovich - Being Corinne Bailey Rae - except the entrance of the portal is sighted up her arse, and once you get inside all you find is a deep pink fluffy void.

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