Colonel Mustard hacks Weasel's blog

Hello you pusilanimous panty scrapers. It's Colonel Mustard here, hacking Weasel's blog again, just because I can!

Have you tried pressing the "Next Blog" button on the top of the blogger bar? Don't bother, fellow voyeurs and sticky keyboarders, it's a waste of time; it will either be some foreigner saying something completely unintelligible next to a picture of a kitten, or some daft girly whining on about dildos and periods.

Ever had a wee in a bespoke suit? Gordon Brown has. Ever scraped a bogie on a Turnbull and Asser Silk Tie?

Got Norovirus yet? No? Then go the Fat Duck at Bray. You'll be shitting jus. Try the tasting menu; I am told the smegma ice cream and the pilchard semolina are the best you can get. Just don't ask Heston Blumenthal why pork isn't on the menu - I gather he has anger management issues.

Toodle Pip. Weasel is so BCBG.

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