Spies like us

The last Russian spy to be uncovered, publicy at any rate, in this country was a little old lady (aged 87). We are hearing that a svelte young female research assistant for a Lib Dem MP faces deportation for also being a spy.

Guto Hari
The KGB/FSB/SVR has about 350,000 employees worldwide, a similar number to those employed by Tata, Intercontinental Hotels (the Holiday Inn people) and Tesco. It's a career. You go to school, get your Obshchem Obrazovanii, and send in a CV. Perhaps it helps if your dad is the local gangster with some favours to call in. It helps a lot if you are a pretty blonde who doesn't mind putting out for Mother Russia. Whatever the route, they sort you out a legend and off you go, over to the UK and make friends with a Lib Dem MP who cannot believe his luck and who has a very liberal attitude to trouser activities.

So how can you spot a spy? V.Diff. Apparently, nobody will ever suspect you of any wrongdoing whatsoever if you are a looker, and oh, yes, white.
I would be rotten as a spy because I look vaguely shifty all the time and of late, have lost my boyish good looks that were once so popular with gentlemen of a..ahem..mauve disposition.
The fact is, even when the story came out about Melitta Norwood, nobody could quite believe that such a harmless little old lady had received the Order of the Red Banner - the KGB's highest honour.

Could it be that one of my regular commenters is a spy?  I have my suspicions.
Your nominations for people, either on this blog or in public life please.

UPDATE: The Russians have already put their official rebuttal in place, a sure sign that Miss Megavaginovska is the real thing. Many more discoveries like this and the FSB will be able to put out a glamour calendar.
click to engorge

7 comments:

Conan the Librarian™ said...

The Americans are fools. I offered my services, they refused. So did the East. Now they can both pay for their mistake Mr Weasel.

Jim Baxter said...

I see. This is all because I suggested the other week that Beria got a bad press, especially from Time magazine who even put him on their notorious front cover that Lubyanka of journalism, twice.

There are some who think SMERSH a figment of Ian Fleming's imagination. Me old mucker Victor Abakumov would have chuckled about that if Kruschev hadn't had him shot in 1954.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Conan, you should have ended that post with "Muahahhahahah"

yes, that alerted me initially Jim, plus your accent, which reverts to your native tongue when you say Budem zdorovy.

Dangerous territory Mr Weasel. Please - have one of my delicious open sandwiches. Igor, get Mr Weasel a Polonium on Rye..

Conan the Librarian™ said...

Aye, that Jim's Terrible Mr Weasel.

Shocking, positively shocking.

I'm away to stroke a pussy.

Jim said...

It was funny seeing handycock on Sky News complaining that his reputation might be at stake.
The guy awaiting trial for sending disgusting text messages to a 'vulnerable' constituent.
Of course handycock knew that Sky etc can't mention the court case as it would be subjudice.
I'm sure that one day he will recieve justice.
I suspect all blogs are watched by spies WW. It's sad because there are so many other folk they should be watching instead.

Jim Baxter said...

Who can spy on the spies? I've got a story to tell you, it's all about spies. And if it's true, which I think it is, you boys are gonna need a whole new organisation.

I suggest that your conjuring tricks show that you, Mr Weasel, are the one who belongs to a Circus.

Don't forget that your 'Control' died of old age... a little early.

Richard said...

Thank you very much topping day M'Lud watcher cock innit there we are then indeed to goodness look you the noo Jimmy an all an all an all tubby shore there's nice look you and I say old bean what top hole toodle pip.

British as Marmite, me. You're all looking in the wrong place.