BBC announces end of pensions dispute

(Reuters) - Management at state-funded broadcaster BBC has reached agreement in principle with trade unions in a dispute against planned changes to its pension scheme, the BBC said on Tuesday.
Members of the National Union of Journalists (NUJ) staged a 48-hour strike earlier this month, resulting in the repeat of many programmes in place of flagship news programmes.
A further 48-hour strike was planned for November 15-16, but was called off to allow talks to take place.
"As staff will know, we met with the joint unions at ACAS today in order to resolve the final point of clarification around our pension proposals," Lucy Adams, BBC director of business operations, said in an email to staff.

Will that be the NUJ being reasonable, or was it the fact that nobody gives a toss whether the propaganda arm of The Labour Party was off air for a few days?

Quite Useless, but nevertheless interesting facts

Do you know who Pete Moore is? Well you will when you listen to this. He composed it. Written in 1968 it is one of the most recognisable jingles in the UK.

It has been estimated that an unspecified number of people have heard it six billion times.

David Lean's Dr Zhivago was a snow movie. Apart from some buildings, covered in plaster of Paris near Pinewood (see above), the location shooting was at Joensuu in Finland.

Legendary commentator Murray Walker coined the slogan "Trill makes budgies bounce with health" (well it did until they took the hemp seeds out of the recipe)

Jean Baptiste Lully was responsible for introducing the conductor's baton as we know it today. Lully, like all musical directors of the day, used to beat time with a staff. That was until JB put the staff through his foot, dying later of gangrene.

MSG Monosodium Glutamate. According to the Mayo Clinic anecdotal reports of people suffering

• Headache
• Flushing
• Sweating
• Facial pressure or tightness
• Numbness, tingling or burning in face, neck and other areas
• Rapid, fluttering heartbeats (heart palpitations)
• Chest pain
• Nausea
• Weakness

have no basis in Scientific fact as a direct causal link to MSG.

Courtesy of http://www.directfood.net/bluediamond/history.asp

Discovery of Glutamate
The first steps in the discovery of MSG took place at Tokyo Imperial University in 1907. Professor Kikunae Ikeda noted "There is a taste which is common to asparagus, tomatoes, cheese and meat, but which is not one of the four well-known tastes of sweet, sour, bitter and salty."

He started experimental work on Kombu Seaweed, another source in which he found the taste was present. He succeeded in extracting crystals of Glutamic Acid, 100 grams of Kombu Seaweed containing around 1 gram of Glutamate. He noted that the Glutamate had a distinctive taste, different from Sweet, Sour, Bitter and Salty, he gave this taste the name "umami".

The Beginnings of MSG
The Professor decided to create a seasoning from his newly extracted Glutamate. To be used as a seasoning, his creation would need to have characteristics similar to those of sugar and salt, i.e. be easily water soluble, but neither absorb humidity, nor solidify.
Monosodium Glutamate was found to have excellent storage properties, and had a rich "umami" taste. It turned out to be an ideal seasoning. Because MSG has no specific texture or taste, it can be used in a vast variety of dishes, naturally enhancing the original flavours of the food.
Professor Kikunae Ikeda

Not a fact, but another odd track:

How to keep warm in winter

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/index.htm publishes handy hints on how to keep warm in winter. I wonder who is going to read this. People bright enough to actually find the site may well have already figured it out. The rest, the stupid ones, will not be able to even do this, thereby ridding the gene pool of people who really believe you can win the national lottery and that a Diet Coke and a bag of chips is the way to look like a supermodel, or that a Nissan Micra is a real car.

Examples:
To keep warm at home during the day try to:

• heat your main living room to around 18-21°C (64-70°F) and the rest of the house at least 16°C (61°F)
• heat all the rooms you use in the day 
• make sure you keep your living room warm throughout the day and heat your bedroom before going to bed
• set the timer on your heating to come on before you get up and switch off when you go to bed
• in very cold weather set the heating to come on earlier, rather than turn the thermostat up, so you won’t be cold while you wait for your home to heat up.

Now, call me Vera Lynn, but this kind of wartime Cholmondeley-Warner advice would come under what I would call common sense. Of course, if you are not Donald Trump, doing the above is going to cost an arm and a leg. Which gives me an idea....

My own suggestions must not be revealed here, lest I get arrested for hate crimes, but it involves single mothers, stewdents and asylum seekers and the various merits of their combustability.  The squeamish among you can always consider the family cat, which would be a boon to the population of wild birds.

But, honestly, somebody has been paid a lot of money to state the bleedin obvious.

Weasel's method, and you may borrow this, is to work your way through all the bottles of leftover peach liquer, absinthe and Cachaça, eat homemade soup (see below), constantly empty and re-fill the wood stove and dig the driveway. It works for me.

It is not recommended that you hug a tiger. Anybody who hugs a tiger should not sue Wrinkled Weasel on the basis that it seemed a good idea at the time. Lawyers reading this can piss off.

WW's Cookery Course

Probably the best cookery book I ever used (apart from Larousse Gastronomique, which is not, strictly speaking a cookery book, and Elizabeth David) was Anne Willan's Observer French Cookery School. Of course, it being rather good, it is out of print. I first collected it, in parts, free with the Observer. The paper then went on strike and I never finished collecting them, though I did have a copy that went, like everything else, to my first wife.

Anyway, the strength of the book was in its explanations. It really did teach you how to make a good stock or what a proper saute was. So, with that in mind, here is Weasel's winter warmer soup, with explanations for those who are new to the basics.

The basis of a soup is the stock. You can use beef, chicken or vegetable. The only bought stock cubes I use are the Kallo organic ones. The rest tend to include too much salt. I am not ashamed to use bought stock if it is good. Making stock though, is fun. My method with beef stock is always the same: After eating boiled beef and carrots, using Brisket, I reduce the liquid considerably from say, two litres to a pint, or even half a pint, adding bouquet garni, which in my case is a combination of bought and fresh herbs, including bay. In the case of this method, the carrot and onion have already added to the flavour. Supermarkets now sell ready made liquid stock, and this is fine if you don't make your own. Check though for salt content.

The obvious candidate for beef stock (which is always described in the recipe books as taking longer than a manned flight to Mars) is Onion Soup. And you don't need to reduce the liquid. The onions are fried, in olive oil and butter (not too much) until they are caramelised. Some people add a spoonful of sugar. Certainly (and carefully) add some salt and pepper. This is a soup that requires thickening in some way. Before you add the hot stock to the onions, you can add a little plain flour, say one level dessert spoon per litre, until it is soaked into the onions. Then you can add the hot stock. This all benefits from the addition of a little sherry. Traditionally, Onion soup is served with crusty baguette that has melted cheese on the top.

During the winter, Red Lentil Soup is a favourite with me and it is simple. First boil the Red Lentils vigourously for at least ten minutes. Use a large pan with a maximum of one third full or your beautiful cooker will be covered in burnt foam. (I rinse the lentils several times in order to minimise this). Then simmer gently for about half an hour.

The lentils will, if cooked slowly, provide enough bulk, and do not need anything to thicken them. For flavour, I make up a classic mirepoix, which is a mix of chopped onions, carrots and celery, slowly sweated in butter.

After the lentils have started to disintegrate, add the mirepoix. I also add a teaspoonful or two of Marigold vegetable stock and a teaspoon of Garam Masala. This last thing is vital to my version, since it transforms a very ordinary soup into something that actually tastes interesting.

If you like animal flesh, you can add bits of shredded cooked hough or bacon, but it is not essential.

Here endeth the lesson. Any soup recipes you have are very welcome indeed.

Don't forget the Pemmican

Somebody over at Nature Skills describes what Pemmican actually is and tells you how good it is for you. Not a lot of people know this, but Scott's expedition suffered miserably from indigestion - a direct result of a dreadful diet of ship's biscuit, butter and Pemmican. So the advice given at Nature Skills should be treated with a great deal of caution:

The Native People of the temperate and northern regions of America developed a high-energy fast food that is easily transportable and long-storing.  We know it as pemmican, or pimikan in the Algonquin languages.  The term is derived from pimii, the Cree-Chippewa word for fat. This is quite appropriate labeling, because fat, a concentrated energy source, is the most important ingredient. The second part of this article contains a pemmican recipe.
We are all generally familiar with pemmican already, as it is basically sausage. It is a mixture of dried shredded or pounded meat, usually ungulate (Bison, Elk, Deer), and lard (solid rendered fat), usually ungulate also, which is combined and compressed into cakes.
Fat is the primary ingredient in a pemmican recipe because fat has nearly 2 1⁄2 times the energy of complex carbohydrates (which are starch, as found in grains and tubers), sugars or meat.  This is important in travel and cold weather because a lot of energy is needed without overloading the system with bulky foods.  Another benefit of fat is that it digests slowly, providing steady energy over a long period of time.

Since people who need energy in and nutrition in very carefully measured quantities do not immediately reach for the Pemmican, you may conclude that the above advice is utter pants. You may conclude that - I could not possibly comment.

Sarah Wilmshurst's guest post

Hello fans of the Weasel. Sarah Wilmshurst here. :-) I am a big fan of the Weasel myself, having been his number one stalker for a year or two. But I am behaving myself now and am concentrating on Tomasz Schafernaker. I know that some of you need some good weather advice, and that is why I am here. The weather is going to be a bit crap. It will be cold, with temperatures going below freezing. I shall be wearing my winter underwear - go to my website if you want to know more ;-) Later today it will also be crap. That's not the weather - it's that bastard Wayne, who says he doesn't love me anymore. XXX Sarah

Need to know

The news this week, that Wikileaks is leaking again, this time the pizzle and drizzle appears to be a lot of chit chat, has got the MSM worried. The snide dismissals, which, on the whole is what they are, strike me as being a little sour grapey, with a side order of piss and vinegar.

The kind of headers such as "this will make the conspiracy theorists look like twits" or "so what if the Americans really hate Iran" may have a basis in reality, but it also betrays, yet again, the kind of disdain with which the mainstream media views anything it was not fed on one sheet of A4 with the important bits highlighted in flourescent pen.

As for the substantive points, about national security, etc., yes it is embarrassing, but diplomacy, spying and candid appraisals of the opposition are not new. What is new is the mode of dissemination. Yet again, the worldwide web has escaped the control of those who think they have a right to run the world. They don't like it. They don't like it at all.

There is an odd corollary of this; The more "democractic" the country, the worse this type of leak is. If it had been about the Russians, instead of the US, they would not only have denied it, but they would have accused the opposition of black propaganda and sent out a hit squad to  administer a Marie Curie Cocktail (Two parts Polonium, one part vitriol, and a dash of bitter almond). As it is, we get embarrassed about being found out to be not quite as polite as we like to think we are.

Wikileaks has caused alarm, not necessarily because of the revelations, but because "they" have lost control of the agenda. And in a world that should be free, that cannot be a bad thing.

This isn't Wikileaks the national disaster, this is Wikileaks the new red top. (Houdini)

Weather with you?

Well, Winter has hit quickly and with the now usual disruption. Suburban Trains around Edinburgh were delayed by delayed cross-country trains, Edinburgh to Glasgow was disrupted due to signal failures and points failures. Many trains were cancelled at the week-end, and, returning from Glasgow, we stood in an overcrowded train for half an hour, on top of the hour's journey, on an already late service, due to there being about a finger nail's worth of snow.

Thatwas Saturday. Today was a bit worse, but if there is more to come we are most likely to be found next spring stiff as boards, in deathly repose.
The Telegraph exaggerated the news. Edinburgh Airport did not close, or at least not for very long, but long enough to cause a lot of cancellations. Strangely, this disproportionately affected EasyJet and Ryanair. (I am firmly of the opnion that the cheapies give up a lot quicker and for a lot less reason)
Meanwhile, our little lane has become the scene of drama, with a repeat of last year's slipping and sliding and cars not being able to make the tiny gradient. Despite the strong possibility of black ice, drivers elsewhere appeared oblivious and, cocooned in their warm cars, drove at full speed in poor conditions.

As for the VFRs, it all went rather well, and continues to do so.
I don't suppose Monday is going to be good for commuters.

The blog is getting extraordinarily high levels of traffic, worldwide. A check reveals that a post about a certain couple, whose marriage may or may not last seven years, is the culprit. Serves me right for even mentioning it.

UPDATE: The piece is from "Baltic Voices II" Track 11. It is the Kondakion (a liturgical anthem) from "On Leaving" by Galina Grigorjeva.

In a similar vein, nip over to Jim's place for this:
http://theeldritchhounds.blogspot.com/2010/11/georgia-on-my-mind.html

As Richard diplomatically pointed out, the original pic was a bit pants. So I have replaced the pics in the post with ones done by young Miss Weasel, today, at Weasel Hall.

 Chickens being coaxed out of their house. (They don't do snow)

Caption Competition

This has been doing the rounds in the last 24 hours. It's one of those wonderful Google Streetview candids. The man in the picture (click to enlarge) appears to be holding a book in one hand, and in the other.. hasn't the weather been parky?

I am busy this weekend VFR. Have a nice one yourself.

Arbitrary Justice - Chindamo and a Dorset Granny

Convicted criminals can also appeal to remain in the UK by claiming that deportation would breach their right to a family life. This includes if they only lived in their country of origin for a short time and if their family, such as a spouse or children, is based in the UK. Sometimes a court may decide they cannot be repatriated for these reasons even if they pose a risk to the public.

The Daily Telegraph, on the Human Rights Act.

This is the reason that the Murderer of Headmaster Philip Lawrence, Learco Chindamo, has remained in this country. He was released on parole and has now been arrested again for a serious criminal offense.

Labour blamed European Union Law. Speaking in 2007, the then Home Secretary, Jack Straw said:

It is very probable that most of this issue arises not from the Human Rights Act but from European Union law.

"We are very vigorously appealing this. This was not our expectation that this man would be open to live in this country upon his release." Did Straw or his colleagues do anything about it? No, they did not.

Documents now released by the Asylum and Immigration Tribunal said Chindamo's right to remain in the UK was "compelling" under the terms of a 2004 EU directive. Politics.co.uk

So, let us get this one straight shall we? A convicted murderer cannot be sent back to his country of origin, in this case Italy, because it breaches his human rights. This would be a cruel twist of the knife. But it goes further than that.

A Dorset grandmother, Joan Wakely, faces expulsion from this country, after being a law abiding resident for 65 years, because apparently she is a Canadian citizen.

This is what officialdom has to say:

Long residence in the UK is not, on its own, a sufficient qualification to remain here indefinitely. 

Well, that's just fine and hunky dory then.Mrs Wakely has been here for 65 years, apparently as a law-abiding citizen, and the authorities are threatening to deport her.

You know what is right and wrong. You know how scandalous this arbitrary dispensing of justice is, so how come the machinery of government does not?

What we have here is a scumbag, whose tenuous claim to human rights, takes precedence over someone who, to all intents and purposes is British and ordinary. This is a travesty of justice, dispensed by those whose job it is to be the guardians of justice. In the case of Chindamo, his persistent use of legal loopholes, courtesy of the EU, to stay in this country, despite his being an utter cunt, is beyond belief.

It is time that this lacklustre Coalition took some difficult decisions. We are living in a Dystopia, predicated on political correctness and existential nihilism that believes in nothing and has no sense of what it evidently right and what is evidently wrong.

Another Cuban Missile Crisis?

"Nuclear catastrophe was hanging by a thread ... and we weren't counting days or hours, but minutes."

-Soviet General and Army Chief of Operations, Anatoly Gribkov

As US Aircraft Carriers head for Korea you cannot help wondering if this is a repeat of the Cuban Missile Crisis that defined the Kennedy administration. Well, for what it is worth, I don't think so, if for no other reason that, as far as we know, China is not orchestrating the pin-prick offensive against South Korea.

However, the stakes are the same: Nuclear confrontation. At the time of the Kennedy crisis the advice was solemn, stark and direct:

"Essentially, Mr. President, this is a choice between limited action and unlimited action -- and most of us think it is better to start with limited action." (Roswell Gilpatric, Deputy Secretary of Defense)

The West cannot allow North Korea to believe it can kill people without there being consequences. It is as simple as that. What it will lead to is currently a moot point but I suspect that North Korea will find its putative major ally has gone a bit quiet.

Europe: The Big Lie exposed

The average Irish household will pay up to £3,000 in extra taxes under a deal brokered by the European Union as a condition of the EUs bailout of the Irish Republic.

According to the Telegraph:

Middle class Irish families face the loss of tax credits and low paid workers, totalling 50 per cent of the labour force, will start to pay taxes for the first time.
The current entrance level for income tax is £15,506 for a single person and £27,071 for a married couple with children, thresholds that will rise over the next four years.

This was the Irish Finance Minister, Brian Lenihan said last week:

there was no question of loading an unspecified burden on the taxpayer.

(It is the) job of the Government to protect the taxpayer and that is what it is doing. 

Last night, Brian Lenihan told the Dail

The plan is the Government’s view . . . and the Government’s own view about how the economic and social position can be developed regarding growth, expenditure, taxation, fiscal controls in the next four years..
So it is an assessment by the Government. There was no consultation with either the EU Commission or the IMF about the content of that document.

How often does this man lie? Only when he opens his mouth.

Don't be tempted to think that Lenihan is any different from any other perpetraitor of the great Euro swindle. Having lost the argument, Europhiles have merely resorted to deceit and subterfuge and Hitlerian rhetoric.

Ireland is now no longer an independent State. Michael Collins must be spinning in his grave.

Stewdents

There seems to be another protest about tuition fees. "Students" are this time targeting the Glib Dems, and Clegg in particular. Nevermind that this ad hoc movement has been infiltrated by the usual suspects, never mind that one has pleaded guilty to throwing a fire extinguisher from the top of the Millbank Tower into a crowd of policemen, it is all, essentially irrelevant. In the case of the hooliganism, it should be terminated with extreme prejudice, and the perps denied the privilege of further education.

How did we get here? We got into this because nowadays, everybody is a student. My hairdresser went to University. Apparently.You can do Golf Management Studies, Equine Psychology, Celebrity Journalism and a raft of mickey mouse stuff.  This is all because of a warped political doctrine. Labour cried "Education, Education, Education" but it didn't really know what that meant. Indeed, as we now know, it was just something dreamed up by speech writers. There was a vague notion that you could put everyone through three years of something and turn out useful drones. Well, it ain't like that, is it? What it has done is to lower the bar in order to take people on who really have no place in higher education. Not only that, it has added massively to the higher education bill. The money had to come from somewhere. In the days when I got a full grant, probably less than ten per cent of the population went to college.

Anybody who has to wade through essays of plagiarised drivel at tertiary level knows how ill-prepared and unsuitable some students are. It is not that I am against education for all, what I find absurd is the idea that a faux university degree is going to solve a skills problem.

Of course, the reasons we are now facing these silly riots is that our rulers created unrealistic expectations about the extent to which the state would give us free everything for everybody. People have a sense of entitlement they are not entitled to. It is the logical outcome of taking the concept of "rights" to its conclusion.

So, what is the alternative? There is one, and that is to return to bound apprenticeships, in partnership with industry.

The idea is that you enter a contract with an employer who gets a tax break for taking on apprentices. There would be a three month settling in period when the arrangement can be terminated on either side. Thereafter, both employer and employee are bound for a period of years. It would need to be regulated and firms would be accredited, but that is no different to course accreditation. Should the student apprentice leave before completion, he or she would be liable to pay the cost of their education to date. Should the employer terminate without good reason, they would be liable to pay back tax.

The point of the apprenticeship scheme is to prepare people for life, not buggering about. The world of work is often a shock to people who do not get out of bed before lunch, as Young Weasel has discovered recently. (He has never been late). Work is not just about skills, it is about integrating and pulling your weight as a member of society. It also politicises people, usually in a good way, for they become a lot less generous about scroungers.

So, what I am calling for is the reduction of mass university places and the introduction of bound apprenticeships. It is a massive task. It needs to be structured very carefully, but it could be done. If nothing else, it would ensure that young people take ownership of what are their natural responsibilities.

****

This is how it could work:

• A national apprenticeship accreditation and regulation body, made up of academics and business people.
• An apprentice mentor in larger firms, whose job it would be to maintain standards and design courses.
• Peripatetic mentors for small firms.
• Guild membership for successful candidates
• Cost neutral for employers. (There is a kudos payback in terms of enhancing the public identity of firms who take part)
• Day release college places where appropriate.
• A journeyman scheme, whereby those who have completed or nearly completed their apprenticeship can transfer to other firms.
• Penalties on both sides for defaulters.
• Tax concessions for newly graduated apprentices and employers.
• A prestige scheme with tough criteria

The guiding principle of bound apprenticeships should be to create pride and commitment in the aquisition of a proper skill (including life skills) and a recognition of this commitment by industry.

Holidays from Heaven and Hell

The Weasel is not very good at holidays. To some extent my life has been one long holiday, such as living on a narrowboat for two years or becoming a small-holder (very small). Living in Scotland, one feels one is perpetually on holiday, for good and bad reasons. But officially one is supposed to "go on holiday". Now, I don't know about you but this idea fills me with terror. How do you go about investing massive amounts of cash in something so unknown and so uncertain to have a good ending, without feeling just a bit of trepidation?

The Telegraph has for years run a column where they interview celebs about hols from heaven and hell. Celebs of course like to go where nobody will hassle them, but for the rest of us it always seems to be that lurking sense of disappointment that, not only are we not recognised, but we are the people who get the table next to the lavatory and a hotel that is run by people who had to get a whole new identity because they are on the run from Interpol.

I cannot say that I have ever been truly, constantly happy on holiday. My favourite time was a month Interailing when I was in my twenties. I could visit, let's say, Vienna, decide that it wasn't quite as exciting as Holly Martins found it, and simply get on a Wagons Lits sleeper to Belgrade. Or I could fall in love again with a girl from Sweden and take her offer up of "if ever you are in Stockholm, look me up". This type of holiday is characterised by spontaneity, serendipity and infinite choice.

These days you can control the horror, to some extent. I use tripadvisor a lot. It has proved remarkably good at helping us avoid disaster and those reviews that were good, generally are reliable. I don't like hotels. Even when I was being paid to be in them with expenses, I hated them. After the first two days, you just fancy egg and chips and a glass of beer, and the symphony of fruits de mer on a bed of something squirted onto the plate becomes an effort, not a pleasure. So, these days, for longer sorties, we prefer self-catering. Not that that is without its horrors. Over 20 years ago I booked a luxury gite for a week, only to find that cooker did not work and the open fire needed logs that were not supplied. It rained all week. We failed to book a restaurant on Sunday and ended up paying £100 for a chicken leg on a plate, drenched in what looked like cat sick. Young Weasel cut his finger open on the dishwasher, We were robbed, I backed the car into a post, and we got stopped at customs in Dover and had everything ransacked, up to (but not including) the anal probe.

Funnily enough, it was that trip which endeared me to France. People were so helpful and friendly. When we needed a doctor, on a Sunday, we found a delightful one who tended Young Weasel's finger and waved us away without charge. He was in the middle of his lunch. On arriving at a plastic hotel one night, it was late and we asked the night porter if there was food. He expressed initial alarm and then produced some lovely baguettes. The morning after, all the cars in the car park had been smashed and they had taken obvious stuff like trainers and raybans, but my hand-made old brogues remained. Whilst in Switzerland I drenched myself in the contents of a little chocolate cup of cream and panicking, asked for an "assiette" instead of a serviette and the lady behind the counter gave me a moist towel instead of a plate. That took courage, humour and compassion. I wanted to kiss her.

The moral and lesson of all of this is this: The best places are not those that are good when all is well. The best places are those places that will support you when there is a problem.

Below, I have a not comprehensive list, based solely upon my own experience, of places you can trust if you are in a fix, and places you can't. I wonder if your experiences tally?

France - Trust
Spain - Cannot Trust
Scandinavia - Trust
Germany - sort of Trust, as long as you are white and drive a nice car.
Scotland - Not as a holidaymaker.
North Africa - Don't go.
Switzerland - Trust
Italy - Borderline - it pays to make friends with the locals.

There are plenty of gaps for my wonderfully well-travelled readers to fill in.

Italians must pay back 720,000 Euros for Elton concert

Yes, Elton is a national treasure but he is not the Elgin Marbles, so it was with some stretching of the imagination that the City of Naples got a grant of $1 million to host an Elton John Concert, as part of the EUs cultural budget allocation.

Now that a sceptical MEP has pointed this out, the European Commission has asked for the money back as, amazingly, even Elton John does not fall under the category of structural long-term investments.

Irish debt crisis - your guide

I am now a confident enough to provide you with an in-depth guide to the Irish debt crisis. Why is that? It's because, nobody really knows WTF is going on and I may as well set you straight on that.

If somebody tells you lies, and you base your understanding on those lies, any conclusions you come to about an issue are going to be flawed. All the information you are getting is being fed through a filter of spin, obfuscation and plain untruth. The biggest untruth of all, the big lie, being the idea that the Euro is good for Europe.

The Irish Finance Minister Brian Lenihan, has conducted the Irish Debt Crisis by deceiving the Irish public about the problem. This is what he had to say last week:

Brian Lenihan also said that if the Government had been reticent in public comment about contact with our European partners and the International Monetary Fund, it had been to protect the taxpayer.


He said it was the job of the Government to protect the taxpayer and that is what it is doing.


Minister Lenihan said there was no question of loading an unspecified burden on the taxpayer.

It was not just Lenihan. They were all at it, busily reassuring the Irish public that they had no plans to go for a bailout. Don't worry too much about the commentators who style themselves experts. Their analysis is as flawed as yours and mine because they are being fed the same shit. Some, at best have put together a helpful timeline. Perhaps President Sarkozy can shed some light:

On Saturday French President Nicolas Sarkozy hailed the "unprecedented effort" being made by Ireland to sort out its budget but said he could not imagine that Dublin would not raise tax rates.

The Irish have two choices; raise taxes - by increases in actual tax or stealth, or cut spending. In Britain, taxes have risen both in terms of open taxation but also by stealth - ultimately, that is the job of "quantitive easing" which devalues the pound and increases costs of basic necessities. The trick is to raise the level of stealth taxation up to, but before people take to the streets. It's the classic boiling frog theory.

But back to Ireland. "Contagion" is the word. If Ireland fails, the Euro is in big trouble. At least that is what Mr Rumpy Pumpy says.

Herman Van Rompuy said the financial meltdown engulfing Ireland, Greece and other EU countries could spark the collapse of the entire European project.
Mr Rompuy said: 'We must all work together in order to survive with the eurozone, because if we do not survive with the eurozone, we will not survive with the European Union.' 

Of course, this is predicated upon another lie, which is that countries cannot survive outside the EU. What he really means is that this whole, catastrophic waste of money and ceding of sovereignty wil collapse under the weight of reality, so it is in his best interests to deflect our attention away from that fact.

So, what do we know so far? We know that the Irish Crisis is affecting us all - just look at the astonishing response from George Osborne, our own chancellor. The only comfort in that is his "support" is couched in so many ambiguities that it could mean nothing at all.

Why does it affect us? It affects us not at all except for one thing. We are bound by treaty to shore up the Euro, despite not being in it, and you have Alistair Darling to thank for that.

But the biggest effect is the perception about BIG LIE. Now that the Euro is in virtual meltdown, only still alive by virtue of a life support machine, the politicians are increasingly desperate. Lying, for them is the first option. Can there be a noble reason to do this?

What I find very strange is the attitude of the Irish to sovereignty.

The country is divided, but largely indifferent, on the question of whether the events of last week were a betrayal of the men and women of 1916: 47 per cent said yes, but 53 per cent said no.

So far, I think this reflects the success the rulers have had in deceiving the public, but it cannot continue.Even the Irish are not that thick.

Sorry to invoke Godwin's law here, but you have to fight evil when you first see it. Hitler did not start by gassing six million Jews. By the time the German people understood what was happening, it was too late. And they had fallen victim to THE BIG LIE.

UPDATE: According to the Telegraph:

Britain’s contribution to the bail-out is expected to be between £7billion and £9billion depending on how it is funded, the extent of EU and euro zone guarantees for the Irish and any bilateral British aid.
Under terms of an agreement signed by Labour in May, Britain must pay into to a £51billion EU financial crisis fund which will form a key part of the bail-out, potentially costing Britain billions. 

Scorched Earth. In the dying days of Labour rule, Ministers decided to destroy our economy because what they had already done in this line wasn't enough! But the real tragedy, and the one we must now face, is that the Coalition do not have the balls to tear up this deal. We have a weak government that is taking us headlong into stagnation and poverty.

We have not changed the system or the status quo. We have merely changed a few domestic details. If ever there was a need for a revolution, it is now.

Here comes the weekend

Ever been in a taxi, nervously looking at the meter? The melting Euro and its impact on the British Economy feels a bit the same. I can see my money leeching away. That, I think has been the theme of the week, so it is appropriate to have Eddie Spaghetti, singing Bottom Dollar. Listen while you guess the mystery face, etc.

Mystery face. Peasy.

Caption Competition - Biker Special

Anyway, on with the fun.
This weekend's mystery stinker - a rock and roll riff and a bit of vocal just to make it easier.



Managed this without mentioning Royal too.

Here's a contibution for the caption comp. Thanks to Mick.

Here is the Weasel's effort:

The Fallacy of Scottish Independence

Guido Fawkes has nailed it this morning:

Thousands died in the transition from being England’s first colony, to an Irish Free State and finally an independent Republic. The ironies arising from the situation in Ireland are many. Joining the Euro, hugging the state tight to the whole European project and Dublin’s politicians slavishly obeying their new masters in Frankfurt has ended in disaster. Why fight the English for 400 years for sovereignty only to surrender it to Germany?

Insert "Scotland" where appropriate. If Scotland gets independence from the United Kingdom, it will become a member of the European Union and a member of the Euro, according to current SNP policy. So, instead of moaning about the Wesminster Government, it can moan about Brussels instead.


Is it really what Scottish people want? The common (and legitimate) moan from Scots is that decisions affecting Scots and only Scots are made in London. Somehow, I do not see the logic of extending the distance to Brussels, unless those Scots who will work for the EU are deseperate to collect air miles.

If there is a referendum on independence, it will not include an option on joining the EU - either you go for swapping English hegemony for German or you stick in the UK.

If a Nat can explain this anomaly, or I am missing something, please feel free to do so.

PS. God knows what it would do to the fishing industry. 

UPDATE: Re Ireland: 

Minister Lenihan said there was no question of loading an unspecified burden on the taxpayer.

Yeah, and in other news, Garry Glitter is named Chief Scout.

Why are bloggers giving up?

This week saw the departure of two major bloggers, Devil's Kitchen and Tom Harris. The reasons they give make interesting reading, but as you would expect, only the Devil is fully open about it. Another, one of my favourites, Cranmer, very nearly returned to the pile of ashes from which he was temporally resurrected.

So why do they give up and why now?

You can point to some obvious reasons, they were tired of ranting, ran out of ideas, got told off by their employers etc. But I think there is an underlying feeling in the blogosphere of capitulation. We have just had an election which has changed very little in the way our lives are run. No leaving the EU, no big drive to face down Islam, no climb down from the erosion of civil liberties, no major changes in the democratic process, no end to the occupation of Iraq or Afghanistan and no magic wand that will detract from the fact that we are indebted for decades. Politically, we are stagnant. Morally, we are a rotting corpse.

Chris Mounsey, who writes the DK blog had a disastrous outing on the Daily Politics. He did not stand a chance. Guido was similarly torn a new asshole on his first time on Newsnight. The difference is, Guido learned, moved on and is now a pro. The MSM will try to take us down if they can.

So here is what I wrote at Devils Kitchen/Knife in response to his announcement of retirement:

Sorry that you have had enough DK. I can understand ennui. I can understand that sometimes we get frustrated because nothing seems to change.

I have been blogging for over six years now, and have had to take breaks, mainly because it is exhausting and also because most of us have lives to live.

However.

There still is a USP for blogs like yours and mine, and it is this: The mainstream media have given up reporting what is really going on. Or if they do report it, it is reported with deceit. What I am increasingly doing is not simply responding to the sound and fury, but looking around elsewhere to see if there is an alternative narrative, one that is more coruscating and truthful.

You know as well as I do that part of controlling the agenda is to leave out inconvenient truths. What I think we can do, as bloggers, is to make sure those truths are not swept under the carpet.

It is ok to rant, but we are beyond ranting, as you imply. It gets us nowhere. We must move on, we must make the blogosphere come alive with stories the MSM won't touch.

There is, frankly, only one way to do this and it is to cultivate sources (take a leaf out of the enemy's book). I don't mean politicians or pressure groups, but people with a need to tell a story from the inside.

We need to make it clear that the story is not going to come out via the MSM and we need to be trustworthy and discreet - and be seen to be so.

Blogging is or should be the direct progeny of the Samizdat. The Samizdat flew in the face of the official narrative, but it came from people who were trusted and sincere and who were committed to change.

Like many things, the ruling elite, Iain Dale, Tom Harris, Nick Robinson et al have hijacked the term "blogger" and subverted the original intention.

It is time to win it back, not shrink away into the darkness.

South Africa - this is the way they treat asylum seekers

I don't feel at all guilty that Britain colonised Africa, anymore than Silvio Berlusconi feels bad about the Roman occupation of Britain. Stuff happens. At least we gave them roads, sewerage, fresh water, education and public safety. Look at Africa today and ask yourself whether it is safer, healthier or more civilised under indigenous rule.

The downside with colonialism is that it retards social evolution. It did in Britain during the Roman conquest and it did in Africa. Basically, the population simply carried on where it had been before being occupied, as if it had never happened. Look at Zimbabwe today, and you may get a picture of what post-Roman Britain became. (The Roman occupation did wonders for domestic production of foodstuffs alone, which were required in huge quantities for their armies and garrisons. After the Roman withdrawal, Britain's economy collapsed within the first hundred years and effectively became a failed state, making way for centuries of tribal warfare)

Ok, sweeping generalisations, but they are fairly accurate.

This week, the only news you will see about South Africa is the horrific murder of a woman of Indian origin, who had just been married to a British resident. But there is so much more you should know.

There are about 1.4 million Zimbabweans living illegally in South Africa. The government has now found a novel way to get rid of them. Although they are entitled to apply for asylum, they need a  passport to do this. The majority of these immigrants do not have one, and here's the trick; The government of South Africa are about to recind the moratorium on their stay unless they get their passports, but oh, The government of South Africa has been slow to issue them, so bugger me, most of them will be deported. Indeed, as of the end of October, only 7,500 passports have been issued.

According to local sources the South Africans are adamant that deportations will commence for those without the proper papers. They do not deny they have been slow to issue them. They assert that they are going to send possibly a million Zimbabweans back to their homeland. Meanwhile, a police spokesperson said that they were gearing up to assist in removing Zimbabweans when the December 31st deadline expires. These are in all probability the same policemen who regularly extort money from these displaced individuals in the form of bribes, by threatening to charge them with petty crimes in order to hold up their residency applications.

You won't get any of this on the BBC. They like to focus on the tenuous connection that two unfortunate Indians have with this country, rather than address the horror that over a million people face upon their return to Zimbabwe.

Sources:
http://www.voanews.com/zimbabwe/news/politics/Zimbabwe-Passport-Bottleneck-Frustrates-Migrants-in-South-Africa-108479029.html

http://www.swradioafrica.com/news171110/zimsfacing171110.html

http://www.buanews.gov.za/news/10/10111713451001

Coming soon ( I hope) , what is life really like in Zimbabwe? I have been talking to someone who lived there for over 20 years until finally, they were forced to flee.

The World's First Two Million Dollar Bra

(press play(

I can't hold her. She's breaking up! She's breaking up! The United States of America. An Economy barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild it, we have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first Two Million Dollar Bra!

William and Kate - a Royal Weasel Special

And here we are, speaking in hushed, reverential tones, on a very special occasion, the announcement of His Royal Highness, Prince William of Wales, to Miss Catherine Middleton. It is at these times when all cynicism and rancour are, perhaps, placed to one side to acknowledge the wonderful part the Royal Family play in our sad, quite ordinary lives.

Miss Middleton is fortunate and privileged. Fortunate because her family own a business that sells party accessories! Yeah! It's true! How amazing is that! Well, erm, sorry, I got a bit excited there, but anyway that takes care of the wedding feast. Lots of candles, tasteful serviettes and colour coordinated candles that revolve on a centre piece that plays Candle in the Wind ( a clever play on the candle theme, I think) will be the order of the day, and The Weasel can assure you that everyone will get a lucky bag and a slice of Battenberg (or Mountbatten, as those in the inner circle refer to it)

Who is up to the job of being our next Queen? Is Miss Middleton fit? Well, as you can see in this picture of her with her betrothed, the trunks don't lie, to paraphrase Shakira. She's well fit.

And so, we look forward to another episode of this particularly replete dynastic saga; hitherto a saga full of highs, lows - one year an annus mirabilis, another an annus horibilis and then, just an annus. It will begin with the guest list. Will poor old Sarah (gissa job) Ferguson be invited? Perhaps not.  And what about Prince Harry's dad? Is he still persona non grata? And what about the lucky young men of the Royal staff who may live long enough (given a disciplined antiretroviral therapy regime ) to tell their adopted children all about this most special of special days?

So many questions. So much excitement for one day.
I know that all readers of this blog will want to join me in sending the happy couple something from their wedding present list. Send your donations now, and I shall try and get hold of the list of the year. Is it with Harrods?

Oh dear, pished in the back of a car and no seatbelt. They never learn.

Guess I'll have to buy the White Album again

After years of wrangling and internicene indifference among the surviving family of the Beatles, and the last two Fabs themselves, it looks as if Apple (no not Apple. Apple!) are putting the back catalogue on iTunes. I had the White Album on vinyl. Twice. I sold the first one, with all the colour photos tucked in the sleeve, when I was a hard-up student. Then the first Mrs Weasel somehow kept hold of the second one. Someone I know had it on Eight Track, but I never seemed to get a cassette. I hated cassettes. Of course, then, I got the CD. All in all, not counting Abbey Road, Sgt Pepper, and the rest, I must have bought the albums several times over. Of course, should you be gullible or desperate enough to buy Beatles material as iTunes, strangely, you will not be able to share them like an album, or make a good quality copy or play it on anything but an iPlayer.

So, let me get this straight. You used to have vinyl. Vinyl was magic, because you could play it on any old piece of crap, practically a knackered Dansette, and it would still sound great. If you were flush enough to have a Linn or Goldring Deck and a good amp and speakers, it sounded like you were sitting on the fret of George's 1957 Les Paul.

Cassettes. Cassettes are like women with little tits. Cute but ultimately depressing.

So why did my CD of the White Album sound terrible? Somebody out there must know. The remasters sound a bit better, but are compressed so they sound like everyone's done acid and helium at the same time. We have had CDs since about 1985 and as far as I am concerned they are a bit of a step backwards, quality wise. Why pay twenty grand for a posh stereo if your source is still several bits short of a bite. Like running a Bentley on lighter fluid.

But I digress. Apple, the popular digital shit company, want to sell it to us again and charge album prices for bugger all but a bit of binary, that they still own. Well, sod them. If you know where to look, you can do that for free. Know what I mean? And you can play it on anything you like.

Let's face it, the Fab Four and their offspring are well sorted for money. Why give more to that screaming nut-job, Mrs Lennon? Why fill Steve Jobs trousers? They are far too tight already.

No, I will not be buying the White Album yet again, but I know where to get it, and I hope that one day, somebody will discover a way to make it sound like brand new vinyl.

Meanwhile, here's a DRM free track for you. Connisewers will discern that it is not the White Album version, but hey ho, couldn't be arsed to upload it from the CD.

Sorry Herman, I'll go for the Cuckoo Clock, anytime

Mr Rumpy Pumpy, the current EU council president, has recently ejaculated this:

"We have together to fight the danger of a new Euroscepticism. This is no longer the monopoly of a few countries," he said. "In every member state, there are people who believe their country can survive alone in the globalised world. It is more than an illusion: it is a lie." 

Erm, what about Switzerland? Or Norway?

Dan Hannan:

"Norway and Switzerland seem to be scraping by somehow, with higher living standards than anyone else in the EU. Neither seem to have been involved in a war in recent years,"

So, what we have here is the CEO of Europe telling us that Eurosceptics are liars. Sounds like the rhetoric of Furhers past and present, does it not? Rompuy's contempt for the assertion of nationalism and control of our own affairs would be merely risible, if it were not for the fact that we are being taken to the cleaners over sovereignty, over taxation and identity, by the EU. I don't think it is risible. It is sinister.

*****

Elswhere in Euroland, the Finns are getting nervous about a bailout of the Irish Finances from EU coffers.

"The government will be politically dead if we accept something that is unacceptable to the average Finn. There is no way of explaining it to the average Finn that we are paying all this money but don't know when it's coming back." (Reuters)

I love the honesty and pragmatism of that remark. Clearly, the Finnish version of Democracy still means somethng. 

And I long for a sauna, somewhere in the wonderful lakes and Forests.

..

Weasel is reading - Tobias Smollett

Travels through Italy and France, by Tobias Smollett, is a journal of a grumpy old man. He was about 45 when it was published, reasonably old for the time.

It's a very rich account of the Grand Tour in the mid Eighteenth Century, and one imagines Smollet as a sort of grumpy blogger, who is quite scathing about the French and French hospitality:

The weather was extremely hot when we entered Montpellier, and put up at the Cheval Blanc, counted the best auberge in the place, tho’ in fact it is a most wretched hovel, the habitation of darkness, dirt, and imposition. 

 *****

If a Frenchman is admitted into your family, and distinguished by repeated marks of your friendship and regard, the first return he makes for your civilities is to make love to your wife, if she is handsome; if not, to your sister, or daughter, or niece. If he suffers a repulse from your wife, or attempts in vain to debauch your sister, or your daughter, or your niece, he will, rather than not play the traitor with his gallantry, make his addresses to your grandmother; and ten to one, but in one shape or another, he will find means to ruin the peace of a family, in which he has been so kindly entertained. What he cannot accomplish by dint of compliment, and personal attendance, he will endeavour to effect, by reinforcing these with billets-doux, songs, and verses, of which he always makes a provision for such purposes. If he is detected in these efforts of treachery, and reproached with his ingratitude, he impudently declares, that what he had done was no more than simple gallantry, considered in France as an indispensible duty on every man who pretended to good breeding. Nay, he will even affirm, that his endeavours to corrupt your wife, or your daughter, were the most genuine proofs he could give of his particular regard for your family.

*****

When I rose in the morning, and opened a window that looked into the garden, I thought myself either in a dream, or bewitched. All the trees were cloathed with snow, and all the country covered at least a foot thick. “This cannot be the south of France, (said I to myself) it must be the Highlands of Scotland!” At a wretched town called Muy, where we dined, I had a warm dispute with our landlord, which, however, did not terminate to my satisfaction.

All in all, the account of his travels is a fascinating insight into the man himself and the realities of travel in the 1760s.

Born in Dumbartonshire, Smollett was of course well known as a poet, novelist and journalist. He was also a naval surgeon and later a physician. George Orwell described him as 'Scotland's best novelist'.

I have not yet read Roderick Random or Peregrine Pickle, but after enjoying the relatively easy style and light touch of the Travels, I will.

Tom Harris rides off into the infinity of cyberspace

So, farewell, then, Tom Harris.  He has decided to give his blog the bum's rush.

Some of you will remember that I used to get on with Tom, too. I even had my banner on his blog and did a guest post. I asked for the banner to be removed, and ceased to comment for one reason, and one reason only; his comments policy, in my opinion, was not commensurate with the concept of free speech. Tom regularly trashed comments that were critical of Labour, or of particular Labour politicians. I am not talking about abuse here, but even factual rebuttals of some of his assertions about the merits of his colleagues were met with the ban stick. And it was not just me that got banned. Fair enough, it was his blog, but having done that, he became an anti-blogger - the dark, subverted mirror image of all that is good about the blogosphere. The blog that purports to be something it is not, and that is a platform for the pursuit of truth in its purest form, which is the ill-considered truth, the unvarnished truth and the whole truth and the inconvenient truth.

Poor Tom was caught between a rock and a hard place. He wanted, genuinely, to be frank and honest. He is frank and honest. What failed him, ultimately was his need to please his masters in the Labour Party. Some will think that the blog cost him a cabinet post. He would in my opinion, have been a good Minister of State. Unfortunately, he was sucked into the political system (how could he not be) that demands party loyalty above conscience. I have rarely visited his blog in recent months, but he seemed to be exercised about a few rather petty political issues that were only of interest to politicians. His loyalty to the Party and his colleagues has been a tedius leitmotiv that has extended to a sin of omission that the BBC would be proud of, but has had the effect of denying us what could have been a genuine link between the rulers and the ruled.

Clearly he has decided enough is enough, and in a funny sort of a way it is very characteristic of a good man whose conscience and integrity was perpetually at war with his vocation.

And here, just for Tom, is a Genesis track I know he will like. Cheers Tom.

Iain Dale - a Blogger or just another brick in the wall?

Today, Iain Dale announced his intention to donate £100 to the Phil Woolas legal fund. You can read the post HERE

Why though, is Iain Dale no longer a blogger? Because bloggers do not publicly announce their undying allegiance to all that is wrong with the ruling elite. That's why.

Dale puts his money where his mouth is. It is not merely, empathy. I would agree that empathy is ok. What is not OK is explicit, public, fiduciary support. Not only is Iain Dale out of step with the public, he is out of step with bloggers and his readers. He is not being "brave" or assertive or even "fair", he is being an arrogant, puffed up twat. How dare he sweep under the carpet the moral turpitude of the ruling classes? How dare he, with one little gesture, throw his lot in with those people who have sought, over the last few years, to feather their nests, by lying, conniving and cheating.

Iain Dale, in the time I have been a reader and commenter on his blog, has gone from being everyman to just another embryonic wannabe celeb, from the champion of the voiceless to just another mouthpiece for the status quo. Undoubtedly talented, he has squandered all my good feelings for him on this single act. He now resides in a lofty office block, overlooking Parliament. He has a personal gofer and probably a dozen people who tell him how the sun shines out of his arse.

Dale is not a blogger anymore. His blog is mostly now a puff for his show on LBC or Biteback Publishing. He even pays somebody else to do posts on his blog. He is cheek by jowl with Yasmin Alibhai-Brown, another egregious mouthpiece for the angst-ridden chattering classes.

He is not the first high profile blogger I have dumped from my reading list. Not that long ago, Tom Harris, the Scottish MP even had me on his banner list until I asked him to remove it, and I did so because his policy about comments was not, in my opinion, commensurate with free speech.

These guys won't worry if I don't read their blogs. Neither will it change their minds, but I will not waste my time on people who fuck with justice or truth. As for a comment in the last thread by Bob; I do visit blogs I don't agree with, all the time, but I rarely bother to leave comments. What I will not do is support those who support the political status quo. If you have to ask why, you don't belong here either.

Blogs are for dissenters, libertarians and those who believe in freedom, truth and justice. They are the Samizdat of the 21st Century. Blogs are change agents. The blogger should and indeed must, stand out from the Main Stream Media. Can you, hand on heart, tell me that Dale does that? In this issue alone, he is out of step with over 70% of the population, and 65% of Labour supporters. There are currently more than 80 comments on that thread and over 80 condemn his action. Does he not realise how out of step he is? No, because he long ago discarded all pretence of being one of us.

Today Iain Dale joined the political elite.If political bloggers are about anything, they are about challenging the sad state of British politics. Dale can no longer do that, for he is part of the problem, and has been for some time.

Guido Fawkes hasn't gone down that route, and a dozen others. If a story breaks (or does not because it has been spiked) who are you going to trust? You cannot trust Dale anymore for he has too many vested interests, and apparently they go as far as supporting nasty Labour MPs, so that is quite a long way. It's a sad day. But don't ask why I am not bothering with Iain Dale's Diary anymore, anymore than I bother with Nick Robinson's "blog". If you can't see why, you perhaps should ask yourself, who's side you are on.

(FYI. These days, my first port of call is the Spectator Coffee House. For a Mainstream Blog platform, you get a considerably wide berth for comments, a huge spectrum of bloggers and a proper, lively level of debate. That's if their notoriously unstable technical platform does not swallow your post.)

"Dale's made the unforgivable step of moving from an apologist for a single party to a shill for the Political Class."   - Katabasis

Blogger was hijacked by people like you (Iain Dale) and Harris, and many others, who saw it as an easy entry to the web for their writing, but you and them are not bloggers but professionals who used the system to get a name and an audience. - Houdini

You Were on My Mind

No, I haven't had a few ales, but I wanted to mention how much I appreciate comments. There are a few regulars who do so. To them, I want to say that I think would enjoy spending time with every one of you. Commenters on here are a very unusual bunch. They are intelligent and confident and individual. From what I can discern, almost all have lived rich, different and interesting lives, some of them, spookily like mine. If this is a niche blog, the niche is the people who contribute. I don't really see them as commenters, but contributors. I like to take a back seat, once the ball is rolling, but that does not mean I am not engaged, since every comment is read by me.

As for anybody who is a regular reader and wants to comment but hitherto has not (and I know who you are) please feel free to do so. I habitually return the compliment for new visitors if they have their own blog, and take an interest in all who put their heads above the parapet.

So now you know, well over a thousand pageloads every week, and frankly, I am not the most accessible blogger out there, or the most agreeable. I have stopped chasing "traffic" because it is ultimately pointless, and requires me to spend more time than I have. I prefer to work on the posts (well, most of them) and leave them as a permanent record, for whatever world we have in the future.

But, to those who comment, thank you again.

Quiz Answers

Thanks for having a go. Conan got Leon Russell and Canaletto. I don't know what colours there are in Smarties. As for the twins - you ask this question: "If your brother were here, which way would he tell me to go?" If it is the lying brother, he would know that his brother would direct you to the good way, so the lying brother will lie and point to the other direction. If it is the truthful brother, he knows that his twin always tells lies, and being truthful will also point to the wrong way. In either case, you simply ignore their directions and go the opposite way.

And now for the Stinker. It was hard, but you will kick yourself...

Hair Down

Quizzes are increasingly difficult to do online. They need to be Google proof and yet, must give the punter an even chance, or the opportunity of making an informed guess. I like reading the guesses. They reveal a lot about the guessers and indeed the subject. So, the "right" answer is not necessarily the best bit. The best bit is the bold, self-assured, informed guess, or even an outrageous faux pas.

So here's a quiz. Many will know this track, but who, you may wonder, is singing it?

(And Children, did you notice that the little liquorice allsort people were swinging to it. too?)
Next up, a detail from a painting. Who is the artist? What country, what era?

And now, for the Mystery Stinker; it will send you nuts.


Next, how many colours/flavours of Smarties are there?

And (almost) finally,

You are on a walk in the woods. You lose your map and compass, or possibly a hooded thug takes it from you to buy drugs from the proceeds. Frustrated and perhaps fearful, you come to a fork in the path. At the fork there is a house. You know about this house. It is famous, for, inside live two identical brothers. They get fed up of people getting lost in the woods, so will only answer the door once to a stranger, so you never know which brother you are going to get. Of course, you need to ask which one of the paths to take. One way leads to freedom, home and perpetual happiness, the other to certain peril.

To complicate things further, one twin always tells the truth, and the other always tells lies. When enquiring the way to safety, you only have one question to ask of the brothers. You will not know if you are going to get the brother who is truthful, or the brother who is deceitful. What question are you going to ask whoever answers the door, and what will your action be as a consequence?

(updated) Next. Riders - those contractual goodies that outrageous rock stars deman in their dressing rooms. (Dave, a regular commenter and musician of some repute, and friend knows about riders. I scheduled a short tour for him in Scotland a couple of years ago, but had to back out when his demands for a motivational counseller dressed as Elvis, and candy shrimps served by mermaids were bridge too far.) If you were a rock star and could call the shots, what would your riders be?

Have nice weekend.